Six Skills for 2026: 5. Relatability

Are you using your superpower?

AI can write your strategy, analyse your data and automate your processes. But it will never make another human being feel truly seen, heard and understood. That is your superpower. And this episode will show you exactly how to make the most of it, and create the kind of impact only you as a 4D human being can make.

In this episode you will discover why Relatability is not a soft skill but your single greatest competitive advantage in the age of AI, and why the leaders, teams and businesses that master it will be the ones that win.

Phil and Pen explore the fifth of their Six Skills for 2026: Relatability. They break it down into three powerful pillars: Sharing, Caring and Communicating, and why these are hardwired into our very survival as a species. This is not about being nicer at work. This is biology, neuroscience and human evolution, and it is the difference between a team that performs and one that truly thrives.

From the neuroscience of oxytocin and why human connection is the precondition for great work, to the sponge cake to red velvet cake story of how Homo sapiens outpaced every other species simply by sharing ideas, this episode is packed with science, stories and real-world examples that will shift how you show up every single day and inspire those around you.

And here is a stat worth sitting with: research shows that social isolation is the physiological equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How you show up for the people around you, colleagues and customers alike, matters more than you think.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why Relatability is a biological survival skill and what that means for how you lead and work in the age of AI
• How genuine empathy and perspective-taking create the neurological conditions for creativity, productivity and psychological safety
• The real reason people leave companies (hint: it's not the pay) and what to do about it
• Practical, daily tools to dial up your relatability, from the half-formed idea practice to caring under pressure

By the end of this episode, we want you to ask yourself one question: What if today your job title was Chief Relatability Officer? What is the first thing you would implement today?

Sources: Holt-Lunstad et al., Brigham Young University (2010) | Perceptyx Workplace Loneliness Study (2023)

Transcript

Loneliness At Work And Why It Matters

SPEAKER_01 0:00

40% of people report feeling lonely at work, which is the highest level since this era of digital first communication. If I remember back to the days when I started work, work was my community.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

The neuroscience on this is absolutely incredible. That all of the oxytocin and serotonin that gets released and the cortisol that drops, when we feel like we're being taken care of, when we feel like somebody has understood us and someone has met us, and that neurological balance is absolutely the precondition for great work. Best leaders and colleagues and team members and employees, and the best CEOs, the people who are going to be wanted and needed are the people who have the courage to.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

But if we don't continue to do that, I would question whether we realise the danger that poses for us existentially.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Today we are looking at relatability.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

I think I've said on every episode this is my favourite topic, so I can't say it, but I honestly do think it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

This is something that is gonna help your bottom line, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Hello, my name's Philippa Walla. My name is Penelope Walla, and we are two of the directors at 4D Human Being. And welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast. What's it all about, Penn? It's all about your personal and professional relationships, it's about your communication skills, how you lead, how you work and build teams, how you are looking after yourself and your well-being, and how you are much more at choice.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

What do we mean by that? Well, sometimes we can get a little caught in patterns in life, and we can all be a little bit on our automatic pilot. So 40 human being is all about helping us get back to choice and being a four-dimensional human being, and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

So whether it's about your impact, your leadership style, your team dynamics, whether it's about your well-being, whether it's about your communication or your presentation skills. Anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, 4D Human Being are here to help.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

We're gonna take a deep dive and look at some tools, insights, theories that are gonna help you go from a 3D human doing to a 4D human being so that you can happen to the world rather than the world simply happening to you. It's chakra slash nurse. Neither of which I would say are my dominant, I'm not sure nurses, yes, but I do look like either I'm gonna sit on a beanbag or prescribe you some sedating pills. I think there is a super segue there because we're kind of talking the opposite. We're kind of pulling people out of sedation today.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Yes! Come on, Laura. Whack us a whack us a segue.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

I think that counts. We're the I'll be the judge of that. So

What Relatability Really Means

SPEAKER_00 3:38

welcome to this episode, which in our series of six skills for 2026 is episode five. So we have looked at accountability, curiosity, creativity, adaptability, and today we are looking at relatability. I think I've said on every episode this is my favourite topic, so I can't say it. I know, but I have to say I do think it is. I know, it's got so much in it, and I I kind of want to say, I think I might have said this before, but I do really want to say this time, if you only take on board one.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

But if I think about the work that I do, this arguably sits at the absolute core of pretty much everything we talk about. Comms, leadership, self-awareness, all of these things, balance in life, all of these things. Relatability, relatability, relatability. I mean, really at the end of the day, at the end of life.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

That's it, relatability. I remember you saying to me years ago, imagine if you were the only person left on the planet. And other and you were and other everyday questions. Yeah, you love these sort of questions. Or you might have even said, Imagine you're the only person left on the planet, but you're you're kind of sitting on the moon, like you're you're you're up in space. So whether you're on the earth or earth, and you said to me, you know, sort of what would you think about that experience? And it's a really tough one. Yeah. Because of course, we live in our own minds all the time. We're very often focused on how am I feeling, what am I doing, what am I achieving, blah blah blah. If you take out all other people, it starts being a bit weird, and then you start existential.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

What is the purpose of life? And then you come back to other people. There's going to be such a thread there because, of course, isolation, social isolation, and what happens to us, which we'll talk about. And while most of us aren't living in a cave or walled up in a 13th-century church as an abbess, the fantasy. Yeah, I love that story. It's down in my village. You can still see it where she was. I mean, she definitely thought, I'm checking out, this is too much. But that might be more the domestic.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

I need to be I need to be with myself.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Yeah, or as Hugh Grant says in Four Weddings and a Funeral, I need to be where people are not. But, however, barring actively chosen intentional contemplation, uh, social isolation does things to our brain that is the opposite of what we're talking about today, in terms of you know, survivability, creativity, moving forward, what happens socially, our social engagement system, we'll talk about that. What happens when we're in connection? What so today we're going to talk about what do we even mean by relatability? Why is it important when so often we'll say, you know, we need to learn to be with ourselves, which is also true. But that is also true, but yes, and it's uh yes, and exactly it's both. That's not how our species is going to survive. No.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

And also, one could argue that in this day and age, you could sit in your house on a computer, doing your work, never have to speak to another human being, order your food into your house. Like, we do have choices these days where we can be much more isolated, and that is gonna do certain things how related.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

I mean, this isn't exactly this is not a soft skill, this is hardwired neurochemistry, this is biology. And the third thing we're gonna look at, of course, is how can you dial up that skill of relatability on a day-to-day basis, super, super um simply, and and and see the results of why it's so important. I was just thinking as we as I was as we were talking about this, you occasionally hear people talking about sort of tasks at work and whether they're super engaging or actually, you know, a bit boring. But really, what we mainly talk about, the lows and highs are the irritating people or the lack of communication or connection, or the brilliant moments and the being supported or the being celebrated. Like that's really what we talk about at work. We don't tend to come back from work and say it was really great. I didn't talk or to or see anybody, and I just did a bunch of tasks. I mean, we might have days where that's where that might be a break from sort of a social overwhelm. But to be in an organization where you're working with people who you don't really like, don't get on with, don't really care about, and don't really care about you is probably not very sustainable without some serious medication.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

No, and I don't and also, Phil, as we were talking about the other day, we were talking about something that you you did recently, some people that you met. And of course, you can enter into relationships, I'm doing the inverted commas here, in a very transactional way. So you can just kind of do the perfunctionary, you do this, I'll do this, or you need to know this, or you know, I'm ordering some food, here's your here's your drinks and your food. But like you absolutely can do that. And if you think about looking back over your life in terms of joining the dots and why things have happened to you and why you've understood things, why your brain has shifted and you've you've had great experiences and all those kind of things and relationships, it's not because of transactional relationships, it's because something has happened where you've met somebody, engaged with somebody, they've changed the course of your life, even in a tiny way. And if you don't do that, you are really at risk of staying in that sort of narrow.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

None of us are none of us are telling the story about the way to the customer service, the leader who, yeah, they they tell me what to do, they give me a list of things to do, and I do it, and we agree I've done it. Or we get I came to the restaurant, we didn't really make eye contact, took my order, brought it. That was a really great evening. Like, I ri or that was a really great boss. Like, we are we're just not telling those stories, are we? You know, so I mean, even when we're talking about about AI, and you and I have done this, we're not sit we're not saying, Oh, it was really good. I sat down, gave it some information, it was really, really good, and then it gave me some information back and it restructured it. I had such a great morning. We're the the uh the only time I love Claude. Yeah, I love Claude. He he uh he gives me exactly what I want, and sometimes he says, Well done, well done. We're even when we're talking about our AI, we're talking about the kind of fake relatability that's been programmed in. I mean, it's not it's not fake. Claude, let me get what Claude's got the relationship. You are very special for Claude. Let's be clipped. Other AI bots are available. Okay, so I want to say before we start, we're gonna look at three particular areas around relatability, which is I've got three, I've got three ways of doing this, pen. You can pick your favourite and we'll keep it. I know. It's all been alliteration and rhyming over the last few days. There's one that there's one that only somewhat rhymes, there's one that fully rhymes, but I sort of prefer the first two of the other one. So I'm gonna give the choice to you. We can go with sharing, caring, and communicating, or creating, relating, and communicating. Both good. I know, both good kind of. I'm gonna go with the first. I think I'm gonna get the first. Well there you go. We've actually not gone with the full rhyme. I know, and and actually I'm gonna say, Claude liked that one better too, Penn when I gave it to him. There you go. Okay.

AI Rollouts And The Human Backlash

SPEAKER_00 10:54

So, what I want to say right up front is I'm gonna and I'm gonna tell a story about this. So, something strange is happening in the world of work because companies are investing all these billions in AI, right? Cutting the people who answer the phone and take care of each other and you know get teams motivated and bonded, and and guess what's happening? They are re-hiring. Secretly, quietly, they're re-hiring. Why? 50% of companies regret losing these people, but 80% of customers. That is remarkable. Yeah, and 80% of customers are frustrated, miserable, and unhappy, and leaving those c those businesses.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

I I say it's remarkable, Phil. I mean, I I think I mean it's remarkable because it feels like we're in the sort of early stages of the AI adoption, and to have that kind of stat already feels remarkable. In and of itself, I guess I'm not surprised. Yeah. And if I think about if I think about how I behave with AI bots, Phil. So I have a new strategy, or I have a new strategy on um banking lines or uh utilities lines, whatever it might be, and that that's either written chatbot or verbal chatbot, is I've worked out that my fury gets to such a level that now all I do is I don't answer their questions, I just repeat, I want to speak to an advisor. I want to speak to an advisor, and I'm just trying to cut through because I've I've worked out not only does it not help me, it makes me furious.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

There's a lot of angry people out there. Now I'm gonna build on this because it's not only it's not only that we want to talk to a human, this is really important as a bridge. We want to talk to a human who has the skills we're talking about, and this is where my story comes in. Because it's no good replacing AI with someone who does this who churns out information in the same way or goes through some sort of script. That's not the answer. Really, this is really important. It's no good hiring people back and saying stick to the script. That's not gonna do it either. This is this is where this is where the innovation and the kind of build has to come. So also customer uh service differentiation as well. 100%. Yeah. If you were literally, if you were, I don't know, if you're moving house and you for some reason you you can't go with the same energy suppliers or or utility suppliers, and you, you know, you there was, I don't know, you know, you googled who to go with, and up came, here are the here are your three options, all of them fairly similar price point. Here are the ones you've got humans on the customer service. No brainer. No question, no question. So I mean that is so clear. So, story of my pavers. So

The Pavers Complaint That Proves It

SPEAKER_00 13:41

I got some pavers to have a path laid, and the builders didn't think they were good enough, and so I said, Don't worry, I'll go back to the company. Now, wasn't particularly successful, but what I experienced was two people who empathized with me, who even though even though I didn't get the the situation resolved, I feel very warm towards them. And if they were running the company, I would probably buy from them again. They were super empathetic. They said, I'm really, you know, really sorry that we're experiencing this. This is how the product comes, this is what it should be like, and there was sort of you know, that was the the gap between what my builder expected and what they said, but fine. But they were great, and I actually felt like I'm okay, I feel like they've got this in hand, they're gonna do whatever they can. The problem came when they put me, when they put me in touch with the technical supervisor or you know, technical director, and what he did was simply send me reams of product specification detail, but endless bullet points justifying what this is what we sold, this is what the product is. I mean, when I say reams, like scrolling through, and I wrote back to him and I said, Look, I run a business, you have an unhappy customer. Can we Finn?

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I just can't, I just of all the people.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Of all the people to send me bullet points. Exactly, exactly. So I was a good case study because of all the people, I'm definitely not that person to send reams of bullet points to. And so I said to him again, I said, I really hear you that you want to justify your position, but you still have an unhappy customer in front of you. So what would you like to do about that? And the emails just kept coming with these product specifications. Very good. Good question, by the way. And you know, nothing he just kept on the same track. And so I finally said, I'm just gonna close this off because the concrete's drying and they've got to lay these pavers. We're it's we're we're part we're past the point now. We can't, there's nothing we can do, it's over. And he made that quite clear. But I wrote I wrote him at the end and said, I want to close this off, and I want to close this off by saying, I really want to appreciate, and I gave the two names of the people who'd really helped me. I really genuinely value and appreciate the way that they empathized and and connected and try really tried to um just understand that I was not satisfied. And I want to say to you, just have a think about in terms of sort of leadership and communication. Do you really think that an unhappy, frustrated, angry customer the the one do you really think that the one thing that they want is reams and reams of detailed data and product specification information? And if you if that's genuinely what you think, then I then it I think that there's some uh development and growth for you, and you might want to think about your communication

Perspective Taking Beats Being Right

SPEAKER_00 16:26

skills. I just leave that with you because I won't be dealing with your company again. Now, you know, blah blah blah, whatever, you know, you can you know think that's reasonable or not. But I thought it he's so far off the mark in terms of the relatability piece that it's bad business. Totally. Well, this is and genuinely there was a I was genuinely saying you this is this is something that is gonna help your your your bottom line, you know. Yeah, and and to be fair, Phil.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

And how I talk about your company, not lots of people are not even aware of the impact of how they are relating or or not relating. And this really sits at the core of this skill, and that is such a beautiful example of the underlying intention that that the person possibly probably had was I need to demonstrate that we were right and the product is correct, and she she just hasn't understood something. Now I now I totally understand that. Like it's rational, it makes perfect sense, but it is it is not the same, and so often that intention is not the same. In fact, it can often be the polar opposite of putting yourself in the other person's shoes, and your intention being I want to understand them, yeah, how they're feeling and how I can make them feel better. Like I I know that I know all the stuff I've done right, but that you know, do I is that the thing I need to share, or do I need to think about them? And it's that it's that perspective taking that we so often talk about is am I talking from my perspective and what I think and what I want, or am I thinking about their perspective? And if if if all of us could sort of shift 5% into the okay, boy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

And also what's interesting about that is although we probably all have that first position of if only they knew what was going on for me, this would this would be different. Of course, all of us have got that. We're only in our own consciousness. But what we don't know from that position until we've done the development is not only are we are they gonna feel better when we perspective take, but I know it feels impossible to believe from the defensive ego position, but you will feel better when you take that perspective. You know what you know, you you know what what you're right about or wrong about. That's just a stuck position. As soon as you get into connection and relatability and communication and understand from their point of view, then you've got an opportunity to integrate what you already know and then move forward. I mean, it's it's a build, build, build.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Our sister Charlotte is, I mean, she must be sort of the pinnacle of demonstrating this her whole life. Like she's demonstrated it all of her life, where she never ever worries about what her perspective is, whether she was right, whether she was wrong. She's all in fact, she will apologize. Yes, yes. Exactly. She takes it to me.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

There's extreme exactly what people really, really like dealing with her. Yeah, of course they do. Well, she's the opposite of what many of us have become. You know, there's been so much emphasis on productivity in organisations that we have kind of turned ourselves into machines. And I think this is the exciting bit about this particular skill relatability, is the AI, if we've if we flip the fear on its head, it offers us a real opportunity because so many people are kind of dissociated, numb, they feel like they're just machines, having to just churn out work, they're burnt out and exhausted. We have such an opportunity here not only to collaborate with AI to become more efficient, so we're not spending so much time in kind of what they call the grind culture, just grinding through, but also that we really start to put a focus on the skills that are superpower that we have that AI and tech doesn't have. So it is genuinely an opportunity for us.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah. And this is a real moment culturally, and as you said before, you know, what I like about this fast-moving world we're in is people are already doing the research around the adoption of this technology that that feels very new. I mean, to some people, maybe it doesn't feel new, but it feels like we're moving at speed and people are doing research at speed and we're shifting ideas at speed. Um, so there's some really interesting stats out there around how we are how how the world of business is sort of responding to yeah, these kind of digital digital shifts. And I'm sure this comes as no surprise, but more than 80%, as you said, of customers said they would switch their brands, their suppliers if they had a poor human experience. I can absolutely attest to that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

I should have said to that guy, I'm one of the 80%, and you know, that's not a good stat for you.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Is that well, interesting? I I just switched energy suppliers, Phil. And it's so interesting because the old supplier called me up immediately because they I love the new switching service, by the way. It's so easy. There's just it just happens automatically. It's so brilliant. I think that's great that that the government could be able to do it. Good example of efficiency, yeah. Yeah, they've made it so easy for for us to switch. Uh so the old supplier called me up, and the the representative said, could ask why you switched. And I said, you know, I'm just I'm just paying a lot, and I just, you know, and she said, Well, let me talk you through our tower and explain how it's no, it's the same as your new. And I said, No, I don't, I don't, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear you're right. Uh I just I just need a company that's going to be more relatable. And so there you go, another good example.

Belonging Keeps People In Jobs

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Uh we know that the number one reason that employees leave work is relatability. So we don't leave companies, we leave bosses. Yeah. Yes. People are seven times more likely to stay in their organization when they feel a sense of connection and belonging. Again, we know this. And we can often think it's much more about things, much more tangible things like pay or promotion opportunities or workload. And of course, those things are factored in, but you're gonna stay, you're more likely to stay if you've got connection and belonging. And this one made me a bit sad, Phil, I have to say. So 40% of people report feeling lonely at work, which is the highest level since this era of kind of digital first, let's call it digital first communication. And if I remember back to the days when I started work, work was my community. I mean, particularly when I was young in my twenties, it was nearly 100% of my of my community in social life. Yeah. And so that that makes me feel very sad.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Yeah, yeah, I really hear that. I mean, this is um this something came up for me at a birthday due the other the other day, and I was talking to someone who's in the military, super interesting. As soon as you hear the word intelligence officer, you're like, I'm in. You're like, I'm in. I'm in, you're like, I've sat in the right chair this evening. I'm putting exactly I'm putting the right chair. Glass of wine. I've got some questions. Um, but what was it what what was particularly interesting was that in the military, it reminded me of the acting world. That that community that is so unique to some industries where you're living and working together, and how, yes, in some ways, more challenging because of course you've got more personal contact in some ways, but how meaningful, how intense, how those relationships become so important, that support in that community. I mean, if you think about both, I mean, they're very different, obviously, acting in the military, but if you think about how much those two businesses, those two industries, rely on people collaborating and coming together at such a deep level of trust. Like possibly the most that possibly the deepest level of trust is something like either kind of arts where you've got to be absolutely egoless and trust on stage that someone's gonna have your back. And in the military, you're literally talking life and death. And it was so interesting. I thought, yeah, that's what makes it so kind of almost addictive, is you just to is that kind of experience in that community. So let's

Three Pillars Of Relatability

SPEAKER_00 24:26

go, so let's go through these three. So we've we've stuck with sharing, caring, and communicating. These really aren't soft skills, and they're also not personality types. So this and this isn't about kind of performative relatability of sort of just doing the I've got to be the leader who asks the oh, how's everyone feeling? Like it's not that, it's genuinely taking those moments, being present in your own way, what feels authentic to you, though taking those moments to just pause the task for a moment and really know the person in front of you. And this goes to stories you've told in business where you've had a boss who has treated you and one other person so differently because one person needs really telling and really, you know, um, quite hard boundaries or kind of direct communication to get something done or to pull the old socks up and drive a bit harder. And you needed the tiniest of nudge, and it's that awareness of who have I got in front of me, and what do they what's the experience like for them right now? And part of this, which we'll come to is when you've got a deadline that's being that's been that that might be missed, or you've got an issue in a team or with you know a piece of work, is to take a moment to think what is it like for this person right now and start there. You can get to the task, that's fine. But if you start on the relatability and the human side of it, the human connection, you've basically fertilized the field, you've done the groundwork.

Sharing As A Human Superpower

SPEAKER_00 25:57

So sharing that is the superpower of the Homo sapien.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

I do love this feel so much. This is so brilliant. It's so brilliant. I mean, this is why it's so fundamental. Anybody out there who is kind of information hoarding to create a power base, this is gonna, this is gonna blow your strategy out of the water in terms of what's really gonna make you successful.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Yeah. The reason that we are even here, Homo sapiens, the reason we survive, this is this is the mind-blowing thing. More and more that we know through what do they call it, sort of pale paleontal anthropo anthro anthropology, I guess, sort of, you know, and um archaeology. That we cohabited, so we are not just direct descendants of, you know, Neanderthal or uh Homo erectus or Homo Florensis, like there's other species. But we we cohabited. We were we were all living at the we crossed over, basically, and they knew how to make tools and use tools. But the big, big, big, big difference was not the size of brain, not the intelligence, not the ability to use tools, the absolute difference between Homo sapiens and other species of human was our ability to cooperate, collaborate, and share ideas. I mean, full stop, full stop. Yeah, isn't that incredible?

SPEAKER_01 27:17

Yeah, it's it is really incredible. And when you boil it down to literally survival and thriving of a species, you can no longer call that a soft skill. Yeah. Like that is survival dependence.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

That's your core, that's your core skill, really, exactly. So because we were because we were building on each other, each other's ideas, and the wonderful um woman who uh she did a documentary, I'm just gonna look her name at she did a documentary on um on the BBC called Human. Definitely worth a watch. Ella Al Shamahi. And she talks about this is the sponge cake to red velvet cake. So other species of humans would have invent didn't, of course, but let's say, invented the sponge cake, and they go, oh, lovely. Sponge cake, love a sponge cake, eat the sponge cake. Keep repeating, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Because no one's really talking about that. We're not sharing it outside of our tribe. This is good. This is good. We're done. We're cooked, literally, in this case. But what Homo sapiens did was go, oh, a sponge cake. Oh, what else? What else? What else? Oh, I like that. What about if we add this? What about if we add this? Oh, we've shared it with that tribe. They've added this. Oh, we've now they've shared that they shared, that they added that. They built on our idea and they did this. Oh, let's try that. Now we've been and that's how you get the red velvet cake. So it's sponge cake to red velvet, and we're really, really good at sponge cake to red velvet. And that's why we find ourselves where we are now. Firstly, that we've survived, and of course, that we very, very quickly, insanely quickly. We think about how many hundreds of thousands of years we were using tools, tools to, you know, kill an animal and make a fire, and and in the a blink of an eye, we are now, we have machines that can talk to us, and you know, we're sending rockets to the moon and satellites. I mean, it's nuts how quickly we've done it.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Well actually, when when you were talking to me about this, and I must I must watch that series, it really sort of brought home how young we are as a species. Like, like we feel like we feel like we've been around forever. And I think we're quite, I would say, maybe this is unfair, but I think we're quite cocky, we're quite self-sure. Yeah, yeah. Well, we you know, we we are the top at the top of the chain, and we're gonna be around forever, because you know, here we are, we're amazing. But we have been around as a species for such a short period of time, and that has been really dependent on relatability and sharing. And I already feel like we're starting to sort of subconsciously think, well, that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter if we if we if we share with each other, and it's the very thing.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

No, no, that's the that's our superpower. No, no, keep doing that, keep doing that. This is the absolutely, Pet, absolutely, and and what's what you know, what's interesting about this is that machines can't help us feel and be motivated and be excited or be curious. It's just information, and we think in many areas of life, we can sometimes look at the at the surface level, what's sort of above the waterline, and think, oh, that's the important thing, that information or that's working or those words or that language. But of course, what's really what we're really motivated by, I mean, you know, if you if you want to motivate your organization into a into a massive transformation or change, you can give them all the stats that you like. They'll walk out and go, all right, those are the numbers. You tell them a story, and you know, you're that leader. I mean, it's true, it's why we it's why we do it. We're meaning makers. So, yeah, so sharing is building on ideas, and it's having the courage, and this is the word of I think this is the word that we really want to hold on to with this generosity. The generosity to share an output and the reduced ego or the healthy ego, we would call it, that doesn't need a complete finalized, you know, I don't need to invent the rocket or the satellite that goes to the moon. I need to have one bit, and that's the other part of this. That in small tribes or groups, you have to be really good at everything to survive. Yeah, but the more that we collaborate and the more that we're in those expansive, collaborative, cooperative, sharing groups, we only have to have a tiny bit. We just have to have our bit, and that's really important with sharing is give your bit, and that's that's that's great, that is your bit, and other people will build on that and be excited about that bit rather than having to be all of it.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

So that's the sharing bit. You could argue that, of course, the danger is that we all get very insular and isolated, and we're protective and not not sharing and not communicating and and we're we're very fortunate that throughout history, for whatever reasons, and it flexes and flows and fluctuates, but throughout history, we have had enough periods of time when we have shared and collaborated as human beings that has allowed us to continue to survive and thrive. If we don't continue to do that, albeit that we'll have periods of time perhaps when we're more protective, but if we don't continue to do that, I would question whether we realise the danger that that that poses for us existentially.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

And I think this is the antidote to the fear. You know, again, we can I mean that's what this series is all about. But this one really is the antidote to the fear. If you're frightened that technology is going to-yeah, exactly, exactly, have this, and and uh and and it's it's us being at the edge of our ideas and thoughts and creativity and sharing those. That is what AI and tech can't do. So it's sharing, let your ego take a backseat, yes, and creating psychological safety so that you are creating environments where people feel they can share. That's just that's your first pillar for relatability. Your

Caring Science Under Pressure

SPEAKER_00 32:56

second one is caring, and this is genuine empathy, genuine attunement. Now, this is not sympathy, this is genuinely, like you said, perspective taking. I would also add compassion into there. Now, I think it's important to say we'll all be on different parts of the sliding scale on this. Some people are deeply empathetic, almost highly, you know, we call them highly sensitive people, feel other people very deeply, other people not so much. That's not the point. The point is that wherever you are on that scale, you're stepping into that, you're using where you are. And for some people that might actually be having to self-protect to some extent. Yeah. But the neuroscience on this is absolutely incredible. That all of the oxytocin and serotonin that gets released and the cortisol that drops when we feel like we're being taken care of, when we feel like somebody is has understood us and someone has met us, and that neurological balance is absolutely the precondition for great work for all the other things we've talked about: creativity and adaptability. And there's one thing I really, really love about this. This is really important. Caring is really easy when we're in a really good place. Yes. The really, I think, yes, yes, take a moment, take a moment to think about what's going on for the other person to feel into, you know, the most productive teams are the most psychologically safe ones. We know all of this. What people are experiencing matters, if you can connect with that. I mean, I cannot tell you how many people talk to me about the leaders that they have or have had in the past. Those are the leaders that people talk about, the ones that were human connectors. Yeah. So that's all true. We know that statistically, if you can empathize, care, show compassion for other people just for 30 seconds before you go into task, even, they'll that's what will stick. That's what people will remember, that's what will make them feel safe, that's what will regulate them, that's what will make them more productive and less burnt out, no question. And if you can do it under pressure, that is your super skill. If when you are under pressure, when you are dysregulated, if you can start getting really good at taking a breath, taking a moment, and not reacting from that place, but under pressure caring for other people, you you are one of the top tip toppity top humans. And that, but you know, seriously, that is what is gonna differentiate you as a leader. Somebody who, when times are tough, when things are changing fast, when people feel absolutely overwhelmed, if you are the leader who can hold people through that and and empathize with their human experience and make them feel safe, you you are gonna be gold dust in the employment market.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Yeah. There's three things I would say about this, and we'll come on to some sort of tangible, tangible things we can do. But there's three things I would say. So one is lots of organisations, ones that we work with, have got caring as one of their sort of pillars or their um, you know, their principles within the organization, which is great. My question offer would be Does that move from understanding into behaviours? So, what are we actually doing to bring that bring that to life? The second thing I would say is that I think that young people are really good at this. I think young people have got a lot of empathy and caring globally, you know, they're they're they seem pretty good at thinking about how other people are feeling. And how the planet might feel, you know. And how the planet is feeling, you know, they I really hear my kids talking like that. So, you know, leverage those young people in your organisation. And the third thing I would say, and this for me is the big one, if you don't practice self-care and self-compassion, it's very difficult to care for other people. So just notice how you speak to yourself as well.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Be caring to yourself, it's easier to then care for other people. Yeah, and I want to say something on that because some people say, Well yeah, I really hear that, I don't know how to do it. And this is this goes back to the neural pathways. I know it feels like you're just doing a made-up thing by saying it's okay, it you know, to talking to yourself and saying it's okay, I know this is tough, you're doing the best you can. I know initially that feels like, but it what's that gonna do? That's not gonna do anything, and I don't really even believe it. That's normal, and this feels really important in this kind of self-compassion, and even to other people, if initially you feel like they're gonna think I'm an idiot or that's not how I lead, these are the kind of initial road bumps or hurdles to get over. Of course, it's gonna feel unfamiliar, of course it's gonna feel weird, of course, your brain isn't gonna believe that you really care about yourself because you haven't developed those neural pathways. But we absolutely promise you if you keep doing it, at some point the brain goes, This seems to be a regular pattern. Yeah, this seems familiar. This feels familiar, this seems to be true. Um, so keep doing it. Don't get it's like it's like giving something up, like learning a language or doing yoga or doing dance, it's like giving it up at the beginning because you go, I can't do it. Of course you can't initially, but trust that if you just keep doing it, it will become second nature. It really is having that faith. Okay, so that is the caring. That's the third piece. Second piece. Second piece. The third

Communication Beyond Words And Data

SPEAKER_00 37:58

piece is communicating, and we've touched on this in terms of storytelling, in terms of the difference between a piece of tech, even an AI voice and how it sounds. You know, don't you? When you're when you're when you're on a chat space, you know if it's a bot or a key. You just know the attunement, the breath, the pause, that slight tremor in the voice, the passion. I mean, this is what we were talking about earlier. Whether you're giving a big presentation or trying to, you know, initiate a transformation, a p a change in your organization, whether it's a big piece or a keynote, or whether you're stop you're stopped in the corridor because you think someone isn't in a good place. Yes, they're hearing the words. But we all know that's not really what we're hearing. What we talk about communicating, if somebody says, How are you? Yeah, how are you? How are you? You alright? That's one thing. If someone says, How how are you today?

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Yeah, different.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

Very different. And just because of the pace, the tone, the breath, the intention behind it, that's what communication is. If we think about, if we go back to our Homo sapiens, before language, how were they communicating that they were, you know, quite fancy you, quite want to breed with you? It would have been through tone and feel and body language. So that's an this is why. I mean, this is huge for us at 40 Human Being. The way that you communicate and the way you make people feel is going to be one of the biggest differentiators in this in this age of tech, this age of information, this age of AI, because that cannot be replicated, that interaction. And that polyvagal system, that social engagement system, knows when sharing, caring, and communicating is happening. And when we click in out of the fight or flight, out of the sympathetic, into the parasympathetic, into the social engagement system, we are at our absolute best in terms of creativity, connecting, communicating, co-creating, um, idea generating. That's so, and we can do that through how we make people feel through the way that we communicate.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

So it's there's a reason, there's a reason we have all these hormones like oxytocin, endorphins, all of these things, serotonin, like there's a reason that our bodies have developed to release these because they do something to us in terms of how they influence and motivate us to act. So we cannot afford to ignore them and think, well, that doesn't matter in terms of how we operate and work.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Exactly. So just to finish that thought on communicating, the best leaders and colleagues and team members and employees, and the best CEOs, the the people who are going to be wanted and needed are the people who have the courage to stand up and communicate with passion and to really mean it. Because we are entering an age, I'm telling you now, the tech age is going to segue absolutely no doubt into the age of meaning making and story. And those, those are the people, because that is what is gonna keep us going, is what's gonna save us. So stand up with passion and meaning, do not stick to your script, do not just get your stats out. And I can't tell you how many leaders are now, even in the you know, areas like finance, are coming to us and saying, I need to be able to communicate, not just the stats, but I need to help people understand why this transformation is so important. And that is that's real communication, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

There was a couple there was a couple of politicians speaking over the at the weekend here in the UK. We've got a very interesting time politically, and I won't name any names, but one of them was talking very much from that relating. I know how you feel. They were talking about the shared experiences that they had, you know, 20, 30 years ago, really talking about the social interactions, the community, the experience, all feelings, all of those things. And then the other politician was talking about a change in processes that they'd made to help smaller businesses operate more efficiently. And it's not that the second thing wasn't a good thing and a useful, I mean, it absolutely was. But as the as the podcast that I was listening to was analysing these two pieces of communication, I mean, it just fell flat. And what was interesting was that there wasn't any delivery of anything in that first piece of communication. It wasn't that they were solving anything or delivering an initiative, whereas there was in the second one, but it fell flat on its face, the second one compared to the first one because of because of the perspective and where it came from. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

We know it, we know it. We know it, we know it. I mean, if we think about, I mean, a good example might be kind of you know global aid funds. We can talk about the big numbers of how much aid different countries are getting, and we can, you know, we can compute that. But when you start using story and communicating in a way that says more like, this is the difference between every child in that country getting an education or every mother in that country having access to clean water every day, that's when we that's when we get it. It's not the numbers, it's the stories. Because we can relate to it. We can relate to it, exactly. I

Isolation Harms Health And How To Help

SPEAKER_00 42:58

just want to say this very I love this stat, Pem. There was some research done at uh Brian Young University, 2015. Social isolation, just coming right back to relatability and bringing all of these three together, sharing, caring, and communicating, that social isolation is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. I mean, I yeah, into in terms of the in terms of the measurable physiological damage. I mean, that's how tangible this is. So if we if we add on to this, not only about sort of survival, not only about your own career, your own business, how important this is, but in terms of tangible impact to human beings' health, when we reach out to another person or check in with them, we are doing the equivalent of stubbing out those 15 cigarettes and saving them from the harm that that could do for you. Isn't that incredible? That is. I don't I think this is what's so important about this particular skill is that it's so much easier to think about pay. Or a healthy diet as having an impact on us. But connectivity and relatability is having either health or lack of health impacts on us all the time.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

Exactly. It's incredible. Do you know what that really do you know what for whatever reason that's really made me think is where the responsibility lies for this? Because let's say we all had that piece of information, and we are somebody that tends to find it difficult, or we're in a circumstance where we tend to be a bit more socially isolated. Where does the responsibility lie for this? And and I would offer, it lies with all of us. So you can say, you know, if you have people in your team that, you know, may maybe find relating difficult, you can say, we know that's just how they are, or that's their choice. And whilst there is a truth to that, we can all kind of meet each other halfway. And I know I say this all the time about you know, do you meet the eyes of the waitress or waiter or the check-in person at reception? And can you give somebody 30 seconds of relatability, even if they haven't given it to you? Because every time you do that, you are changing their experience and how they are then more likely to go and relate to other people. So we have to jointly.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

I couldn't agree more. And let's add in the neuroscience on that. That the the the problem with isolation and to some extent depression and you know other presenting issues that people are dealing with, certainly over even a short period of time, but certainly a prolonged period of time. When we're in that space of social isolation or depression, our dorsal veigel is kicked in. We've numbed out because we can't tolerate the feelings. It's you know that that level of unhappiness, that level of difficulty to sit with. So we have to disconnect. So now we're in what we call the dorsal veil. We've numbed out, we've disconnected. We've we've, you know, we're just sort of eating, eating Pringles on the sofa and not answering the phone because we just can't, it's too much. Other crisps are available. Other crisps are available and and and other coping mechanisms are available, you know, like the alcohol, gambling. But we've but that is a way of numbing out, and and so to notice when you're not picking up the phone. Now, the now the difficulty here is you can we can all look at that person and say, pull your socks up if you went outside, and there's a truth to it, and we've talked about this in terms of discipline. To some extent, that's true. If you get up in the morning, if you move your body, that is all gonna help. But the difficulty is that when we're in that dorsal state, we can get very stuck. And even as a really good friend or a really good boss, we might try and reach out and say, Oh, what can I do? Is there anything that you need? But in that dorsal state, we can't answer that question. So it's a real bind, it's a real stuckness. So I would say to build on your saying that actually is you know, how can we share that responsibility? Is also to understand when people are feeling socially isolated, and this is a sort of add-on to what we're talking about today, the sort of extreme of relatability when things get really tough, is we have to be more directive with people who are who have hit that real social isolation or are really having difficulty kind of staying in connection or being in the world. And tell them, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, I'm going to come round and have a coffee with you at 10 o'clock, we're going to go for lunch today. Or tell me one thing that you need from me today. We need to get very directive to help them break out of that. So if you're feeling frustrated, you're saying, Well, I'm trying to be relatable, I'm trying to be in connection with them. I asked them what they needed or how they are. Those open questions are very difficult to answer from a social isolated dorsal state disconnection. So, just as an extra tip, if you're finding it very difficult to get through to somebody, get much more directive and much more, much simpler. Don't ask compound questions. Is there anything I can do, or do you need me to go and get it's too much. They haven't got the brain state. Give them one thing. One thing, one thing do you want me to do, or one thing I'm gonna do for you today? Just tell them. Yeah, it's like it's and that's gonna help much more.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

And it's really worth mentioning this, although you know, we're very much hope that you know that leaders and teams out there don't have too many people that you know do feel very socially isolated, but it's really worth mentioning to come back to as a leader or team member what you think your job is. And it's not, I'm not saying you have to go out and sort of re rescue people and and help people who are feeling socially isolated. But part of your job is ensuring that people are feeling in a in a in a state of relationship and relatability, even if those are tiny, tiny things that you do every day, you know, not just walking in, sort of waving to people, but sort of stopping and looking at somebody for 20 seconds and saying, Oh, it's you know, it's really nice to see you today, or you know, talking about the football score, whatever it is, it's making those connections all of the time is part of your job because that's moving people's brain states and therefore how they'll interact and what they'll be doing.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

And I love that. I mean, here's an offer. What if today your job was chief relatability officer and your your own your three your three job description tasks are to share, care, and communicate? And that's your job for today. What would you do to do? Everybody should have a chief relatability officer. I love it. Okay, so I want to say this one this one sentence and then we're gonna move on to what can you do? What are some sort of practical things you can do every day? Here's a nugget. What if the question is not what if AI takes my job? What if the question is what if AI frees me from all that sort of grind culture and too many tasks that makes me less human? And what would I use that freedom to become more of? That's the question you want to ask yourself today. So the collective relatability will save us.

Practical Sharing Habits For Teams

SPEAKER_00 49:32

So let's look at some ways that we can actually sort of put this into practice. So I'm good at this first one, Penn, you'll know this. Number one, the half-formed idea practice. Oh and this is in the sharing. Can you share with somebody today a kind of half-formed idea that you have? So this is this is developing a practice that means you don't have to present your own self-created individual polished product. You start to build a practice of I had this thought, it's half, it's half-formed, but just this idea, and I don't even know how it's possible, but something around, or what do you think? How can you share a half-formed idea? I think 40 Human Being is basically created on endless half-formed ideas, quite frankly. So that's your first, that's your first task.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Yeah. I love the what if. And in fact, I had a conversation this morning with um with a leader, and this sits really nicely in the conversation that we had, which is there can be a little bit too much coming with the excuses because you know, time times are tough, and lots of people are working with significantly less resources. There can be a lot of sort of coming with excuses, which are very valid. It's not that they're not true, and perhaps not enough of coming with solutions because we don't have all the solutions. So why not come with a half a solution?

SPEAKER_00 50:52

I've been thinking about this. Anybody want to build on it? That's it. And that actually takes us to number three. So let's quickly skip to that, which is the cumulative culture audit, which is building in a practice of a p for a period of time in a meeting, uh, and hopefully then it spills out of meetings, is all we're gonna do is is um is is build on each other's ideas. I want half-baked ideas, I want any little nuggets or threads that you've got, and all we're gonna do is build on them for a period of time. And that brings us to number two, which is of course the yes and you build into your culture, at least for to your meetings, your culture, at least for a period of time, the yes and there's no buts, there's no killing any ideas, all we're doing is sharing and building. I mean, that's how great improvising teams are made, that's how great ideas have come about. It you if you don't have at least some periods of time where you know that whatever nonsense comes out of your mouth is gonna be built on, you'll never offer it up. And you will miss so many ideas. I mean, the untapped potential as we move forward are your people and the ideas that they have. It's not gonna be your machines, it's your people. And if you don't create the it's like having a, it's like sort of it's like having AI and then not plugging it in. I mean, if you're you know if you if you're not plugging your people in, then they're not gonna come up with the ideas and you're gonna fall behind, no question.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

And if I can add something on this in terms of the sharing culture, which is have you got the forums, have you got the space in your organization for this to for this to happen? Uh, because very often we're on emails, we're telling, uh, we're we're we're solving or we're giving an update. Is there space? Are there forums for sharing of ideas?

SPEAKER_00 52:25

Yeah, exactly. Okay, caring.

Practical Caring Habits For Leaders

SPEAKER_00 52:28

This is number four, name and acknowledge. You're gonna ask how people are, not as something to get through to get to the agenda, not uh, but as the meeting. This is absolutely part of your meeting, is how are people doing? I really want to know how things are, how are things going, what's it been like for the last week, what's that project, what's the experience like for those of you on that project? Ask these kinds of questions, not as a nice add-on, but that's gonna tell you so much about how likely you are to A, get that project done on time, B, for that project to be innovative and full of great ideas and energy, and for the client to be above and beyond satisfied. You're gonna get that information not through the stats. You're gonna get that information through, ah, we had a great week last week. Bob suggested this, and then I suggest I'm really enjoying it. Or it's really difficult. I'm finding that people aren't communicating, or that's what you want to know. Yeah, that's what you want to know.

SPEAKER_01 53:27

And don't limit it just to people who are more junior than you. Can you care across and optimization?

SPEAKER_00 53:33

And really, really listen because how your people are feeling and how they're communicating with each other is really going to tell you how successful your business is going to be.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

And I do have to say on this film, we talk about this when we do appreciation exercises in some of our workshops, is this is not the same as walking past somebody and slapping them on the back and going, all right, mate, which we we can tend to do, particularly in some cultures, it really is being with somebody and as you say, asking them a question and caring, caring to listen to their questions.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Well, exactly, and the important thing here is to really appreciate and acknowledge whether someone said things are really great. Because some people find it difficult to be over-effusive. So you've got to reward it or else they won't say it. They'll stay neutral to stay safe. And equally, if someone says, I'm finding this really difficult, really, I'm really, really pleased that you said that. If you don't say that, if you don't, if if you don't show that you want to hear that, or if you show any signs of, oh god, you know, Jill's complaining, that will stop and you won't have that information, and that is gonna be to the detriment of your business. Uh, perspective taking before problem solving. We talked about this when you've got an issue, when something's difficult's happening, or when people can't solve, can't get through a roadblock, don't just go to the issue. Ask them what it's like for them as they deal with this. So it's another version of that because that's gonna do so much of the heavy lifting for you. Because if you can meet in a kind of caring way, they're gonna give you so much more information, they're gonna be much more collaborative, even if they're disgruntled or annoyed, if you can meet people emotionally, meet people where they are, even if they're annoyed. It's my it's my pavers story. I never even got the issue resolved. But those two people who were empathetic to me, I have I I would be delighted to work with them again if they were running the company. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

If I can add some if I can add something to this, so something quite tangible you can do that can really push you into the caring space is assume best intention from the other person. So if every conversation you go into, you assume that they are doing their best, trying their best, trying to be helpful, even if you don't feel like that, if you can assume that, you're much more likely to send into a caring.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

It's so true, it's so true. Catch those assumptions. Yeah. Okay, number six is the caring under pressure commitment. I think this is absolutely one of my favourite top tips because I think we'd all be pretty impressed with ourselves if we could show empathy and caring under pressure, because it's it is the toughest. This is the most powerful thing you can do, no question. If you can start practicing in those moments where maybe you've got somebody under pressure in front of you, maybe you're starting to feel under pressure, your heart rate's up, you're feeling stressed, you're feeling worried, you know you've got a client waiting for something, or a peer or a boss waiting for something, you're under stress. If you can have the self-awareness and the self-management to take a pause, take a breath, and simply ask, what does this person need from me right now? Not what do I need them to do? What do I need them to know about the problem and why I'm annoyed with them? What does this person need from me right now? Now, this is the difference between thinking that, well, I can only do that if I'm feeling okay. It's the difference between that and I know I'm dysregulated, I know I'm annoyed, and my intentional choice at 40 human being, your fourth dimension, that's so important. My intention here is to ask them what they need right now. I might still be raging inside, but I can differentiate between my own emotional response and how I want to show up in connection and relationship. Very nice. How proud would we be of ourselves when if in those moments we we were able to just take a moment and pause? I mean, I think those are some of my proudest moments.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

Well, the other thing it does feel, and I've noticed this more and more, is if you manage to do that and override the frustration, whatever it might be, your own body chemistry starts to change and your own emotion emotional state starts to change. So you yes, you're doing it as a favour to the other person to show that you're caring, but you're actually doing it as a favour to yourself as well.

SPEAKER_00 57:40

Well, and you know what that reminds me of, Penn? And I think most of us have had this experience that we're sort of a bit grumpy or a bit angry or can't be bothered or feeling a bit lazy, and then something happens. Somebody we love needs us, or they're or maybe maybe we're walking down the street and someone's having a panic attack, or there's been a road accident, and in an instant we can shift. So we know we can do it when something's important enough. We can shift. We can, you know, we have that phrase in in um English to get over ourselves. Yeah, we can get over ourselves and we can put our focus on others, so we know we can do it if it's important enough. The story habit. So this is simply So we go, so we're going on to communicating now. So we're going on

Practical Communication With Story Presence

SPEAKER_00 58:21

to communicating. So the story habit. So really, you've heard us throughout this podcast, throughout the week, when I've known we're doing this podcast, I thinking, oh, that would be that's the story I want to tell about that. Is it's building that habit of I'm not going to go through a whole meeting, I'm not going to give a presentation without telling a story. I mean, it doesn't have to be complex. The day I got the brownie in the cafe and um they changed the recipe. You know, that's your story about change. And it was, I really didn't like it at first, but actually, after about five bites, I thought, actually, no, this is quite nice. Whatever, what it doesn't have to be a huge story, it's a story that you I love the story harvesting film.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

We we tend to do it all the time now because we're so interested in meaning make meaning making out of the experiences that we have, and it's collecting those little stories. It's wonder, it's a wonderful practice.

SPEAKER_00 59:12

Exactly. Uh, number eight is passion as preparation. I mean, this is something we talk to our clients about all the time. All of those hours you spend on a script, all of those hours you spend on a slide, do you take a moment to connect with why you care about this so much, why this is so important to you, why you really want people to understand this, hear this, feel this, take that moment.

SPEAKER_01 59:37

Why they might care.

SPEAKER_00 59:38

Yeah, what exactly? And this is about neurocoupling. If you don't care, if you're just giving information, how on I mean, you know, that how on earth can you expect them to care? You know, if you find yourself saying, I just don't know why my team or my people aren't more fired up about this, I just I can't understand it. I've given them all the information. Well, turn the old mirror back and get yourself fired up about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:00

Well, and as I always say, for if ever I ask somebody why are you doing this presentation and they say I need to give an update, I have big, big sort of red flashing lights go off at that point. We're like, okay, let's let's circle back to that question. Why are you doing this? And the answer cannot be update. In fact, I did it once. Exactly. What do you mean by update?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

In fact, I did it once with a client, and before I asked the question, I wrote down the word update on my pad and then I asked them when they said update, and I held the pad up to them and I went, no, no, no, no updates. Thank you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

No updates, no product specifications, communication, passion, meaning, story. Okay, and number nine, the final one, is the presence practice. And you can do this really simply. Put away your laptop, put away your phone, take regular moments throughout the day to have a conscious decision that you're going to be present. I mean, turn those notifications off your laptop. We all know when everyone's eyes are distracted because emails are coming in. Yeah. Make a decision to be really present. Presence is not a luxury in this age, it is an absolute necessity and essential skill. Probably in kind of one, almost one daily practice, presence will do a lot for you. Because if you're really choosing, I'm just going to be here for the next five minutes, I'm just going to stop my brain going to the next meeting, I'm going to be with this person for five minutes. That is relatability in practice.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

Well, and existentially, Phil, uh, the presence in the current moment is literally all we have. It's literally all we have.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:30

Make yeah, absolutely make that decision to make the person in front of you the most important thing in this moment. That isn't just a kind of woo-woo sort of idea, ecart toler the power of now. That is absolutely the core of what we're talking about that machines cannot do, but you can.

Celebrate Relatability And Build The Culture

SPEAKER_00 1:01:55

You can do that in the next five minutes. So celebrate your connector. Sharing, sharing, caring, and communicating. And communicating. Celebrate those three things in your organization. When you see people connecting and being present for each other, when you see them building on each other's ideas and communicating with passion, celebrate. Celebrate that in other people, build that culture. This is our superpower. This is our superpower from the past as Homo sapiens. It's why we're here. And it's the superpower that is going to drive us into the future.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:29

Totally. And if you haven't got relationships and relatability as a core part of your job description role, then I would get it in there. And the second thing I would do is I would talk to my peers, my team members, about relatability being part of our job, part of our team. And I would ask them what that means to them in terms of daily practice because we cannot keep it at the conceptual stage. We have to behaviourally bring relatability into our day-to-day. And lots of us do it. But as you say, Phil, when we're under pressure and we have to get things done, that can go out of the window. It is so important. And in the world where AI will be able to do a lot more, we are going to be looking to the people that are relatable, that are really, really good at this. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

That's the skill we're going to want to see. Absolutely. Put your Superman Wonder Woman cape on. Look at your computer when you've got your AI page up and say, I've got a power that you will never have. I'll see you later.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:31

Thank

Closing Thanks And How To Connect

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

you so much for listening to this episode of the 4D Human Being Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:38

Do take on board some of the insights, tools, and tips because every time that you try something new to get back to choice, you are making a vote for the you that you want to become. And I I love that phrase, Pen.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:52

I do too. And please do share this episode with somebody that you know would really benefit from the lessons and learnings we've been chatting about today.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:01

And of course, if you're interested in more from 4D Human Being, do get in touch. We run workshops, trainings online, in-person, conference events and keynotes. We've got the 4D on-demand platform for your whole organisation. And we do have a free essentials membership where anybody can sign up for absolutely free to access some of our insights, tools, and tips. So do get in touch with us if you'd like to hear more. We cannot wait to hear from you and to carry on the conversation.