Six Skills For 2026: 1. Accountability

What if the one skill that could transform your leadership, your team and your career is the one most people are getting wrong?

Over the next six episodes, Phil and Pen explore the skills that matter most right now, drawn from research, coaching, workshops and years of experience working with leaders and teams across the globe.

We're kicking off with accountability, one of the most talked-about yet least understood words in the workplace. Too often it gets confused with blame, punishment or surveillance. But real accountability is something far more powerful. It's the foundation of every high performing team, the backbone of self-development and one of the most important skills you can build in a world that is moving faster than ever.

In this episode Phil and Pen explore why accountability has never been more critical in fluid, hybrid and remote working structures. They discuss how traditional frameworks that once held teams together have shifted, leaving a gap that only a more intentional approach to accountability can fill.

They introduce the CARE model, a practical four-step framework for having accountability conversations that keep relationships intact, focus on shared goals and create lasting change rather than short-term fixes.

Phil and Pen also dig into the difference between vertical and horizontal accountability, the surprising connection between consistency and success, and why discipline—far from being old-fashioned—might be the most underrated skill you can develop right now.

In this episode you will learn: 

•  Why accountability is not about blame — and how to reframe it for yourself and your team 
• The CARE model — Connect, Affirm, Reality, Embed — and how to use it in real conversations 
• How to embed accountability as a daily habit rather than a crisis conversation  Why replacing 
• "I'll try" with "I will" changes everything How discipline generates motivation — not the other way around

Whether you lead a team, work within one or simply want to show up better in your own life, this episode will give you the tools and language to make accountability feel less like a burden and more like a superpower. 

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Transcript

Blame, Anger, And Team Results

SPEAKER_01 0:02

The most successful teams are the ones that are able peer to peer to hold each other to account. Yeah, it makes me think of a pit stop in Formula One, you know, if one of the four people putting the changing the tyres, you know, drops a bolt or you know, whatever. It's no good them saying, Well, it wasn't my fault. But you're so right, because the two places that we end up with is both toddler. One is, well, I've done all my work, Bob dropped the spanner, and the second one is the anger. Yeah. That you're left with. Yeah. And I go back to that old adage, that old saying that I love so much, that holding on to anger and not having the grown-up relevant conversation is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets ill. Because it's like when someone says, so-and-so is so horrible, and you're like, Can you see the paradox of you being nasty about them? And when we have the accountability conversations with the wrong person, we are right in the paradox of accountability. Because we are not, we are not holding the system to account. We're outside of it moaning about it. Hello, my name's Philip Walla. My name is Penelope Walla, and we are two of the directors at 4D Human Being. And welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast. What's it all about, Penn? It's all about your personal and professional relationships, it's about your communication skills, how you lead, how you work and build teams, how you are looking after yourself and your well-being, and how you are much more at choice. What do we mean by that? Well, sometimes we can get a little caught in patterns in life, and we can all be a little bit on our automatic pilot. So 40 human being is all about helping us get back to choice and being a four-dimensional human being, and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention. So whether it's about your impact, your leadership style, your team dynamics, whether it's about your well-being, whether it's about your communication or your presentation skills. Anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, 4D Human Being are here to help. We're gonna take a deep dive and look at some tools, insights, theories that are gonna help you go from a 3D human doing to a 4D human being so that you can happen to the world rather than the world simply happening to you. Hello and welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast again. Hello and welcome. New topics, Phil, new series. New topics. I would say new year, but it's not a new year. We are the sort of feels like it. Going to do the six skills for 2026. We've really been talking about this, and not just because we're pushing hard and quickly into the AI era, but more generally, things we have observed in the workplace, things we've observed that people bring to coaching and sessions and workshops, and things that of course we are passionate about affording a human being and think are the most important things in the world, and we want to make sure that everyone else thinks as I think. Yeah, and so so while they are skills for 2026, and in the context of everything that's happening, I mean, what can we even say about the context of the world, but specifically anyway, the rapid change, you know, events adding to that, of course, and of course, tech and ways of working. So AI and tech and ways of working, which has shifted obviously since the pandemic. And we pulled all that together because there's lots of people in industry that are speaking to this, and you can grab little bits of information from lots of different business leaders about what they feel they need to see in their business, what's going to be valued, what people early in careers and graduates and uh people entering the workplace need to think about, and we just thought we'll make it really easy for you. Let's put the six skills for 2026. These are the things that we see from research from our experience that these are great things to focus on for now. So name the six. So it's gonna be, I think this might be the longest mini-series we've ever done. So there's gonna be six episodes for the for the six skills. So we're gonna start today with accountability. This is a big one. I won't go into it, but boy, it's important. That's number one. That's number one. Secondly, we're gonna be looking at creativity. That does not mean you have to be an amazing artist. We will speak about that. Uh, thirdly, big one, we're speaking to a client about this the other day, curiosity. Oh my goodness. Personally and professionally will change your life. Literally change your life. I don't think we're cute, people are curious enough. No, yeah, absolutely. Yep. Uh fourthly, adaptability. Obviously. Yes, we talk about this a lot. Uh, you're gonna have to be more adaptable than ever. Yeah, and well done. You know, I feel the pain sometimes in that when things, plans change. Can't we just just do what we said we can? No, we can't. The fifth one is visionary. And this is partly about training our brains, but it's also partly about the language that we use. Yeah, yeah. So inspiring kind of what it's gonna look like. Yes. And actually, I use the word inspiring because a lot of what we all end up sharing is how awful it's gonna be. Exactly. We look at what the worst outcomes we need a good outcome, yeah, a good story. It's partly that negative bias, it's partly the lack of language that we use, and of course, we we will undoubtedly talk about, as the lovely Joe Dispenser says, the best way to predict your future is to create it. Creative and talk about think big. Yeah, how narrative and vision can shape the reality that unfolds. And then the last one, number six, uh, these are not in order of importance, is relatability. Relationships, people, connection, where we're putting our focus. Yeah, the human skills, which is so valuable now. Yeah, those are the pieces that have sort of, you know, we can be technically good, we don't have to worry too much about some people for some people worry about our human connection and communication, and now that's your USP, that's your can you excelling tech. Yeah, and this is both gonna be about how you personally can be much more intentional and upskill yourself in these six areas. It's also how you can bring more of that to the people that perhaps you lead or the people in your team. So, just to recap accountability, creativity, curiosity, adaptability, visionary, and relatability. Great. So we're gonna start today with accountability. Now, there's interesting words around this, isn't there? Sort of responsibility, accountability, and they all sometimes feel a bit heavy. Yeah, they can feel like they can feel a bit, oh god, I've got to do it. Alright, I said I'll do it, I'll do it. But actually, you know, the the reason that we're talking about it is, and it's interesting because I think it is often confused with blame or punishment or sort of surveillance. Yeah. I'm gonna hold you accountable. But actually, it's really important and increasingly important in fluid, remote, adaptable, flexible, sort of hybrid and also networked working structures because we just don't have the frameworks anymore, those sort of those vertical frameworks that just automatically did that. Boss is watching, team member, you know, my my junior needs that. And it's not that those things have gone, it's that we the framework has changed because of the fluid way of working. We need to get better at it in peer-to-peer. So let's talk about that. And also because perhaps in the past the tasks were much more consistent, perhaps they didn't change as much, so it was very clear to us what we were accountable for, so then we could say, well, I did this, and that's what of course that's not necessarily the case anymore. So when we talk about accountability, exactly as you said, Phil, it is that much broader sense of accountability. It's being a grown-up. You know what is making me think? It was the research. Which we can think about it was the research done. I can't remember if it was Daniel Pink, I can't quite remember. Autonomy, mastery, and purpose. And these were the things, was it sort of maybe 20 years ago, even, maybe a bit, maybe a little bit longer, that the research was done. What do the next generations really want in the workplace? And the three things that really stood out were autonomy, mastery, and purpose. I need to have purpose, connect to meaning, I need to be masterful, I need to have the support of the company, I need to know that I can do a job. And I want autonomy. Now, on the back of autonomy, I'm afraid, ladies and gentlemen and everyone else, comes well, accountability. If you had a little Boston matrix of accountability and autonomy and you had full autonomy with no accountability, I mean I don't even want to think about what we're doing. It's a toddler! It's a toddler. It's like you said, it's it's growing up, isn't it? So it's going to be really, really, really useful because this is both for leaders who need to hold team members and employees to account in a much more not unstructured but much more fluid structure and global structure, and also, and that's vertical accountability, and the other one, of course, is horizontal accountability where we're holding each other to account. The last one we're going to talk about at the end, of course, is self-discipline, self-accountability. But it can, I think it can feel it can feel difficult in all ways now, whether we're talking about vertical or horizontal, because the trend of leading with authority is really disappearing. Yeah. It's going. So we need to have kind of skillful ways to hold each other to account that keep us in relationship. Yeah. So those are some of the challenges with accountability, is it can feel a bit presumptuous, or we can risk relationship, or or on the other side of it, we feel sort of punished, or you know, that there's a power imbalance. So we need a really, really good way to hold each other to account. And of course, whilst it may feel slightly heavy, and it, you know, we very often hear this word coming up in t in teams work and in leadership because it feels it feels difficult to make people accountable, and it can also feel difficult to take accountability ourselves when we don't feel it's fair or whatever it might be. But of course, there are huge advantages to really stepping into accountability, both from the self in terms of your own development. Yeah, your own satisfaction. Yeah, the way you live your life, the the the as we said before, the autonomy that you feel, the sense of being a grown-up in the world, and of course, there are and it and it also in terms of the success that you will you will have. Of course, there's also huge advantages in terms of organisations and results as well. I mean, as Lencioni would say, in his pyramid of successful teams, accountability is an absolutely massive one. And if you don't have it, it's virtually impossible to get everybody focused on that same goal and aligned towards success. It's it's such a good point because, like you say, we can we can sort of shirk that responsibility and say, well, it's not my responsibility to hold other people to account. But as you say, the most successful teams are the ones that are able peer-to-peer to hold each other to account, to agree a shared commitment and to hold each other to it. And if you think about sports teams, nobody on a sports team is seeing Bob having a cup of coffee on the side of the pitch. It's always Bob. Poor, I mean, every time, Penn, every time. You know, and all the rest of the players are sweating on the pitch. They're not all getting together, going, well, a successful team aren't all getting together going, why is Bob having a coffee? Why isn't he? You go to Bob and you say, Bob, what are you doing? What are you doing? We've all agreed that we're gonna play this match together. Yeah, it makes me think of a pit stop in Formula One, you know, if if one of the four people putting the changing the tyres, you know, m drops a bolt or you know, whatever. It's no good them saying, Well, it wasn't my fault. Exactly, Penn, and that's the last bit I want to come on to before we go on to the model. It's exactly that. Because it doesn't mean you have to absolutely annihilate them and lay into them, but you have to say I did. A does not stand for attack or annihilate, A stands for holding accountable. But you're so right, because the two places that we end up with is exactly as you say, is both toddler. One is, mum, it wasn't I've done all my work. Bob dropped the Bob dropped the spanner. Yeah. So it's like blame. Why isn't he? He should and also probably talking to Dave rather than Bob. And the second one is the anger that you're left with. Yeah. And I go back to that old adage, that old saying that I love so much that holding on to anger and not having the grown-up relevant conversation is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets ill. Yeah. You're living with this frustration and anger. So there's I mean, there's well-being benefits, there's organizational benefits. I mean, it's it's really goes back to your three ways to live. You know, you surrender to it, you get angry at it, or you do something about it. I will just s make a note of one thing here. And whilst we're not talking about culture and psychological safety, of course, as an organization, there's two things to think about. You know, from an organizational perspective, one of the reasons that people will find it hard to take accountability is if they feel like the culture is simply not going to support that. If you get blamed for failure, if there is that attack. So that definitely need to think about that from a cultural perspective, it's feedback, not failure. The second thing, of course, is that as human beings, we are slightly primed to not take accountability because obviously, from childhood, you know, if somebody in the class broke something back in the classroom at school, you know, we didn't want to get into trouble. So there's there is part of us, there's a young part of us, that kind of recognises that we don't want to get into trouble, we don't want to be in the wrong, so we can often feel like we're gonna push away accountability. So we need to do the work individually to be a grown-up and say, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna kind of beat myself up about this, but that was me, and I'll I'll take steps to do whatever. And culturally, we also need to allow allow accountability. Yes, and that really, if I carry on the analogy of the teacher, that's the difference between the teacher who sort of stands at the front perfect and goodly, handing out the punishments, and the teacher who can say, Look, you know, we all get things wrong. You know what? The other day I, you know, broke a glass in the kitchen. And you what might you do differently next time? Exactly, you're making it safe. So, as a leader, how are you modelling accountability so that it's safe for everybody? And also, exactly as you say, how do you normalize it that it's just a daily check-in? Because that is how the reason teams become so much more successful is because you're constantly doing a kind of quality check. You're constantly, it's like it's the difference between driving a car and once every two years checking the oil. Sounds like me, well, you know, and then going, why you know, that you there was a breakdown. There was a there was a piece of research, wasn't there, on um an organization that I'm now trying to think of the name of the organisation, but it was a um it was a car car manufacturer, I think it was Japanese, I can't remember. It may have been Toyota. Anyway, I don't know, I'll check it. And he ended up firing the fast performing teams. Yes and the slow performing team. And people and he really risked his career, but they waited long enough to see the results, and of course, what they saw was that in the longer term they saved so much money because the slower teams were the ones who were holding accountability, checking mistakes, they were checking mistakes, owning it, stopping something to correct it, asking the right questions. And so, of course, the production was I loved that, in terms of percentage of correct and perfect, was so much higher, whereas the fast teams were just going for targets, but they were going for quality. So, you know, you win in the end. Yes, that's right. And the thing about that story is I read the same story, is um obviously that data collection takes time, it takes time to recognise the benefits of accountability. You know, they can be a quick win for a team or an individual to kind of shirk responsibility and say, Well, it it wasn't me, I've done my bit. But longer term, the data the data holds out. Do you know what I often think about with this? I often think this is a little sort of analogy that I love. This was said to me after I left drama school is stay on your path and go at your pace, because in a fast-changing world, the danger is we think we've got to go at the same speed to be successful, and then we're just all rushing, and then there's dropping the acceptability. And sometimes I watch TV series or movies, and if you look at sort of smaller characters or even tiny parts in a movie or a TV series, and it's someone really famous now, and you think, ah, at the time they'd have been looking at the lead on this kind of you know, BBC crime, thinking, Oh, you know, amazing one day, and now they're winning an Oscar, and it it's just pace, yeah, it's just a different pace. Keep going, keep going, you're on your path. Okay, love that. So we know it's not we know it's not always easy to hold people accountable and also take accountability ourselves. So we're gonna look at perhaps how we can do this in a skillful way. And we have a lovely act coming up. Yeah, and and really sort of introduce it into your into your system and into your leadership. Yes, so here's a way, here's a four-step process to have those conversations. This is taking us from, oh, did you hear, did you see what Bob didn't do? Well, that's exactly right. The conversation. The accountability conversations often happen outside of the meetings where the actual person is was present. That can really happen. Can I bring up the paradox here? I love this. It's like when someone says, so and so is so horrible. And you're like, can you see the paradox of you being nasty about them? And when we have the accountability conversations with the wrong person, we are right in the paradox of accountability because we are not, we are not holding the system to account. We're outside of it moaning about it. It's it's like sort of it's like the sort of never-ending sort of hall of mirrors, isn't it? So if you really want to talk about accountability with someone, you need to have the accountability conversation, or else you'll become part of the problem. So, our four-step conversation, making it really accessible when you feel annoyed when someone hasn't done the thing that you think that they should be doing in a process, be they a boss, a peer, or a team member. Care. C A R E. Love it first. So it's already in there, is already this is not about blame. This is not about blame, this is because we care about the individual and the results. Yeah, and the results and the and the and the and the shared thing that we're doing. Yeah. So C is for connect, and that could be to connect with appreciation, it could be connect to check in with the person, but you start with something that connects you as two people. And ideally, what also sits in that word is ideally you're not having the accountability conversation with somebody that is the first conversation you've had with them in six months. Like ideally, in the workplace, we are consistently connected with our stakeholders so that when we have these conversations, they're going to be easier because we have a level of trust and connection and care. So you're not opening the conversation with Bob Why didn't you? You're opening with, can I talk to you about something? I think you know, you're so good at X, Y, or Z, you're so good at, you know, really the detailed work that this team really needs. And I know we both want this team to be the best. And so I really, or I thank you so much for the you know extra work you did on that other project. I really appreciate it. Or whatever it is, but connect. How are you? How's your holiday? Connect. A affirm the shared commitment. Now, I'm hoping, we're hoping that at some point the reason you know that there's a gap in terms of what should have happened and what hasn't happened, is because you've all agreed to the thing that should happen. And this is absolutely critical because again, in our heads, we may not like having these conversations, we may think I've got to get to the thing that hasn't that they specifically haven't done. Whereas we're much better off, exactly as Lencioni would talk about, right at the top of his pyramid in terms of high-performing teams. What is the shared goal? Why is this important for all of us? Yeah, what pulling back. Yeah, pulling back and saying exactly that. So, what's the goal? What's the KPI? What's the what what did we commit to delivering collectively? So we've got two steps here that are absolutely about the we space. Connect with the other person on some level, and it might be that you both support the same football team or you both have a similar hobby. Whatever it is, make that connection. The second thing is you're affirming the shared goal that you both have. We both have agreed. We both, I know we're both really excited about hitting this whatever target. So it's two steps that are about the we and not nothing. And what's really useful about that is, of course, is that we should assume in in accountability that we are working towards that shared commitment. And if you have that second stage of this of the conversation in this care acronym, and the other person doesn't agree with you in terms of that shared commitment, then you've got a whole other concept. You know, exactly. No, no, no, I exactly you're saying, you know, we're all agreed that we're building. I don't care about that. Yeah, or you say, I just want to go back to we all agreed that we were building this particular, you know, rocket. No, I thought I was building a boat. Exactly. But you're that's a different concept. Exactly. So you really need to check. So we both agreed that, if you remember, Bob, we both agreed that X, Y, and Z, but so we're looking at the big goal, we're also looking at the immediate goal. So, Bob, we both agreed that that report would be done by Thursday, if you remember. Yeah. And now we're ready to trickle down into the thing that needs to get spoken about. So R is reality. Yeah. What has happened and what hasn't happened. What is the actual reality? First of all, because the other individual may not even be aware of that. Yes. Secondly, because we are talking about observable facts that have or haven't happened. Yes, the reality is it's Bob, you're an idiot. Yeah, exactly. Bob, everyone thinks you're an idiot and we don't like you. And uh, you know, can you take a bit more accountability? It's not it's not useful. What are you doing with that? Exactly. What are you doing with that? So, what is what is the reality of what has and hasn't happened? Because if you put that on the table, facts, facts, facts, yeah, it's very likely that everybody will have to agree. It's not about the motivation behind what was done or wasn't done, it's this is what happened or this is what didn't happen. It's very likely you will get agreement on observable facts. Yes. Because there's probably data or observations to back it up. If you if you're in some kind of post-truth reality where somebody will not agree to a fact in front of a different conversation, conversation as well. And I want to add into real. And this is not like you you always do that. What's your language? On this. This is it's this reality. It's not exactly what's in my head about what I think about it. I think that's the important thing. It's the reality that we share out here. It's not the reality that's in my head. Are we both agree on the reality? Because, you know, this is you're right, isn't it, with the post-truth? That we we end up in the well, this is what my world looks like. Now, of course, there's a truth to that. We all have our lenses on the world, and we can agree that this is a podcast microphone. You know, we have to have you've got to find some tangible. We can agree on this piece of paper that the sales were down 10% this this quarter. And the reason I really like the word reality is it's not just saying the reality is that you didn't get that report in by Thursday. The reality might also be that we had another project come in that was told had to be priority, and that took up a lot of time. So there or the reality might be I didn't get some information to you. So we're really checking all aspects of the reality so that we can again, it's not about blaming, it's about saying, like, what are the facts on the table that's led to this happening? You know, your child was sick. Like it's okay, like it's just naming what happened. And I'm gonna double down on your acronym with an alliteration that I would also include in this reality recognition. Yeah. Because reality allows us to recognise what's what we've done and what the other person has or hasn't done. So it really is about putting the reality on the table so that both of you in that conversation can recognise what's been done, what hasn't been done, whose responsibility was it, and who's taking accountability for it. Exactly. And I think this is so if we think about, you know, think about naming the reality, and in many ways what you're doing is naming the gap between what you expected to happen and what has happened. And if you can put that as a reality in front of you, that gap is no longer filled with all of the things we talked about, you know, Bob's an idiot, or you know, you should have and why didn't you, and you always and you never, and you're hopeless. It's simply the gap between events or or uh tasks that did or didn't happen. And that for me feels so much safer. Yeah. Because the you know, if if I'm helping you bake a cake, and actually this happened to me on a baking trip with your lovely daughter, no, we went, and of course she and I are chatting away and we missed the section where the eggs had to go in. Oh, that was funny. And the instructor dealt with it so brilliantly because, especially with your daughter being a bit younger and it was mainly adults there, and it could have been like oh embarrassing. She said, Oh, you know, she really normalized it and named the gap, and the reality that you can't add the eggs in now, it's like it's the gap is the gap. That is the reality. Yes, so we'll need to go back and start again, and that's fine. But it really was it handled in a way of it's just about eggs were not put in, yeah, and now cake can't be completed. Not you, you weren't listening, you shouldn't. And I I would really offer on this that I think one of the reasons that we, if we do manage to have these accountability conversations, one of the reasons that we'll walk away from them and people still won't take accountability for what's happened, can often be because because the conversation about that gap of of performance or expectations was too subjective. And therefore, it this is the place where people say yes, but really they mean no. So they they they may well they may disagree with you for a start and you may you may have a block, but they may sort of say, Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, but they'll walk away and won't won't really have taken accountability because it doesn't feel truthful to them. So we really need to get those facts in place so that both people in that conversation can hold uh the accountability or whoever needs to. Yeah, yeah, very good, very good. And then so the last one is E, which I love, which is so important because then we feel like, oh, I've had the conversation, brilliant, that's done. But of course, it isn't done. So this and and this is the word embed. And the reason it's the word embed is for the accountability conversation, we really want to focus on our agreement to continue these conversations to embed accountability along this process. It's like a yoga class, but it's not it's not a one, it's not one class. Yeah, exactly. It's not a one class and done. It's not oh I lifted a weight, now I'm a bodybuilder. Exactly. It's it's learning a language, you know, or I learned to say baguette, we're done. It's exactly that. It's the it's the we're coming on to discipline in a minute, but it is that discipline, isn't it? And this is the slight difference between in a feedback conversation where you're then reviewing the task, what we're really focused on here is embedding the holding accountability in this task. It's of course we want the actions. Of course, we want the actions, and that is going to happen. That probably won't just be us unless we're in a two-person team or organization. But really, it's about how can we make sure that this continues? How are we going to embed that when we say we're going to do something, we do do it, and that goes both ways. And that might be let's have a quick five-minute check-in and just check everyone's okay every week. And if you think about how quick that is compared to a troubleshoot when something's gone wrong, so how do you embed accountability? Because if you think about that, I mean it's something that's come up in our system, and Matt said it, and I agree with him. When somebody in our system says they're gonna do something, they do it. Yeah, and that is about habit building, isn't it? That's about when everybody does that and everybody makes that a norm, a normal thing to do, you stop really thinking about it. It just becomes the it becomes the way of being, and so that's the embed bit. Yeah, totally, and it's about consistency as well. Yeah. So accountability is very, very difficult when we have a conversation once a year when things have gone sort of catastrophically wrong. Consistency in terms of using language like accountability, having check-ins with the team, what what have have we and haven't we done, who who's gonna take responsibility for this? Those kind of conversations they need to be consistent. Otherwise, we're in a culture of it's not normal to talk about and take accountability. And if we just reverse that, you're in a culture where it's perfectly normal to not do the thing that you say you're gonna do. Yeah. I want to throw in, as I always do, Penn, a dance story here. Because what is do you know what really surprised me about who wins dance competitions? You'd think, oh, the most, you know, the most difficult steps, the most difficult steps, the most brilliant, the kind of flourish, the one who bends their back the most, the ones who have the most beautiful lines. Consistency. Yeah. Every time. And my teachers have said it to me again and again and again. I said, I know it's annoying, but across, you know, if you're doing a three-dance you know, round, you'll look at the results, and there'll be people who win the foxtrop every time, and there'll be people who win the quick step, and there'll be people uh who who come last in you know the Viennese walls. It's the people in the middle who get the trophy. It's the people with the twos and the twos and the threes because they're consistent. Yeah, and he said he was talking about this one dance, he said there was this one dancer, he said he was the most amazing foxtrot dancer. Nobody could beat him. He had the smoothness and the lightness and the feel of the foxtrot like no one else. He never won the whole competition because he didn't have all the others. And no one ever beat him in the foxtrot. And I was like, I the consistency is the winning ingredient. And I thought that was that really is and it's difficult for you if you're somebody who wants to sort of always be fast, as we were saying at the beginning, and always be you know, quick and move quickly. Because the temptation to think that's what's been what's needed. So there's two things to say on this. One is when you've when you've finally managed to have the conversation around, you know, this there's been an issue, we need I need you to take accountability for it. Keep checking in regularly. The second thing to say on this is don't wait for the failed performance or the difficult thing or the problem or the catastrophe. Get these conversations embedded right from the get-go before the thing has happened that's problematic. So just make it part of your weekly, monthly routine where there is an accountability conversation so that everyone knows what they're accountable for, and then it should be so much easier to have that slightly difficult conversation when something hasn't been done. So consistency, embedding, embedding, embedding. So I'm gonna give you three tips and then we're gonna give four sentences that might be good a good place to start with the C-A-R-E, the care. So, quick tips we language rather than you or me, you or I. That's a that's a really nice way into a care conversation. Stay curious. We would say this on any feedback type of conversation, any any difficult conversation, any accountability. Before you've expressed all the decisions you've already made about this person or assumptions, get curious. And then the last one is the word co-create. Keep thinking about it as a shared, co-created way forward. Okay, for here are you here are four, a sentence for each of those C-A-R-E. For connect. You might try something like this. You can find your own version. So this is to give you a quick startup. Before I say anything else, I want you to know I'm raising this because of what the value that you bring, because of how good you are at really connect. A, the affirming the shared commitment. Of course, we agreed together, and it would be really good to check in on XY and how that's going exactly. R, the reality. I'm noticing that X, Y, or Z. I'm curious about what's got in the way here or what's blocked this, and I genuinely really want to understand. So I really want to understand what's the what's happened with the reality that hasn't got us to where we want to get to. And then embed, and this might be what would make this easier for us to keep this going? How are you and I gonna keep checking in to make sure that I deliver what you need and you deliver what I need? So those are a few phrases just to help kind of really make concrete the C A R E model. Great. Next final little vote. This is one of my favourite words. I love this word, and it's it's a word that we are reclaiming from the sort of earlier last century, and it's the word discipline. And discipline has had has lot has gone out of fashion because it sort of makes you think of school days, doesn't it? And being disciplined. And being a bit sort of contained and a bit boring and told. Yes, yeah. It feels discipline can feel almost like the opposite of creativity, and it just isn't well writing. Yes. The idea that you wait for the creativity to show up and then oh, I'm writing a poem. The thing about the thing about writing and painting or any creative act is the discipline if you sit down. I remember a a a writing tutor saying to me one day, you write through the depression, you write through the tiredness, you write through the stress, stress, you write through all those times. Because the funnily enough, the more often you're disciplined and show up, the more success. Yeah. Yeah, and it's we've we've put it under the the heading of accountability because it does sit quite nicely under there. And it's definitely one of the sort of sub-skill sets we need to think about when we're when we're really thinking about accountability, like we said before, being a grown-up.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Yeah.

Key Takeaways And Closing

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Discipline is incredibly important in terms of what employers will be looking for from their future employees going forward. You know, it's it's get it's tough out there, it's tough out there to get a job, particularly for young people. It's tough because the world is moving fast, it's tough because we have to take things on board and and you're working remotely, you're on your own. Exactly, you're working remotely in complex structures. Discipline, discipline, discipline. And it's not the discipline of watching the video or writing in an app that you're gonna do something. We know we've outsourced a lot of our idea of discipline that if I watch a video on going to the gym or you know, well-being, or if I if I write it in my diary, that's not what it is. It's it's habits, it's habits in that moment, it's doing the thing, and uh for me, one of the easiest ways to get into discipline, and this comes up a lot in writing, is don't think about it as oh, three hours or do it for five minutes. Yeah, because it's the starting, it's why the Pomodoro technique, the 25 minutes, is was so successful. Find a way to move your body and say, I'm gonna do this for I'm gonna do one minute, I'm gonna look at the report. I'm not gonna write it, I'm just gonna look at it. So finding ways into your own discipline for your own self-accountability is gonna be one of the most important skills you develop in the coming years. And I I quoted Michelle Barmer the other day in a group, which is you know, you are practicing who you become in every single moment. And if we think about really wanting to be seen as a responsible, accountable individual, then having the discipline to make choices and habits every single day that leads us to that is going to be absolutely critical. Absolutely. So, some very quick tips on that. Practice the one hard thing before the comfort thing rule. So do do the hard thing before you do the nice thing because then you get your reward of the easier thing. Uh, weekly review, you and I do this all the time. Check in with the other person, tell the other person you're gonna do it. I love this, I cannot tell you how much I love this next one. Replace the words I'll try or I think or I might with I will or I won't, because I cannot tell you how many times I hear somebody, even in the you know, even in the coaching, you know, I'll try, and I stop him. I say, no, no, that's not the language. And then discipline is not motivation. Don't wait for the feeling of oh, I want to do this. Discipline is doing it, even when you don't feel like it. Even when you don't feel like it, and finding that drawing that up and say, even if it's just for a minute. So I tell I t I tell you what, once you do that, we talk a lot about how moving the body can then get the can get the mind into a different state. So discipline can actually generate motivation. Yes. So just bear in mind, exactly as Philip said, don't wait for the sort of uh inspiring feelings to come. Yeah, discipline can generate it. Absolutely, very good. So that's the first one of our six skills for 2026: accountability. Let's rebrand the word accountability to mean that we're active and doing and doing the thing. We're value-driven, we're doing the thing that we say we're gonna do. And I cannot emphasize enough how much this is connected to to being an adult. And and whilst, you know, we're not gonna bring sort of therapy and sort of deeper psychology into it into this conversation. Uh for me, it's really, really nice to hold on to. Adults hold themselves accountable. And I want to be an adult, Phil. I don't want to. Me too, Pen. Me too. Let me know. Let me know when that happens. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the 40 Human Being Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. Do take on board some of the insights, tools, and tips because every time that you try something new to get back to choice, you are making a vote for the you that you want to become. And I I love that phrase, Pen. I do too. And please do share this episode with somebody that you know would really benefit from the lessons and learnings we've been chatting about today. And of course, if you're interested in more from 4D Human Being, do get in touch. We run workshops, trainings online, in person, conference events and keynotes. We've got the 4D on-demand platform for your whole organization, and we do have a free essentials membership where anybody can sign up for absolutely free to access some of our insights, tools, and tips. So do get in touch with us if you'd like to hear more. We cannot wait to hear from you and to carry on the conversation.