4D Human Being Podcast | Live and Lead with Impact

Personal Profile: Tips

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Which version of you do others actually meet?

In this episode of the 4D Human Being Podcast, Philippa and Penelope move from ideas to action on personal profile. You will hear why relationships outlast roles, why delight beats delivery in people’s memories, and how to show up with intention when the room, the camera or the moment finds you.

We explore:

  • A grab and go Neural Reframe to shift from rant to resourceful in minutes
  • Three Words to seed the reputation you want when you are not in the room
  • The quiet power of language choices and the filler-words that shrink presence
  • Judgement myths that keep you small and six quick resets to free you up
  • Practical tips for online visibility and everyday micro moments

By the end of this episode you will have at least one clear move to try this week. Pick your three words. Use them once in an intro, once in a meeting, once in a post. Notice how your physical, emotional and intellectual presence begins to align with the story you want others to experience.

Ready to go deeper? You can buy the 4D Personal Profile Series now on the new 4D website and start using it straight away in your 4D OnDemand profile. It walks you through shaping your physical, emotional and intellectual presence, improving language habits, strengthening your online profile, CV and bio, plus reputation repair and daily maintenance. 

https://4dhumanbeing.com/4dod-courses/


Contact 4D Human Being today to learn more.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello, my name's Philip Waller. My name is Penelope Waller, and we are two of the directors at 4D Human Being. And welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast. What's it all about, Pen? It's all about your personal and professional relationships, it's about your communication skills, how you lead, how you work and build teams, how you are looking after yourself and your well-being, and how you are much more at choice. What do we mean by that? Well, sometimes we can get a little caught in patterns in life and we can all be a little bit on our automatic pilot. So 40 human being is all about helping us get back to choice and being a four-dimensional human being, and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention. So whether it's about your impact, your leadership style, your team dynamics, whether it's about your well-being, whether it's about your communication or your presentation skills, anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, 4D Human Being are here to help. We're gonna take a deep dive and look at some tools, insights, theories that are gonna help you go from a 3D human doing to a 4D human being so that you can happen to the world rather than the world simply happening to you. I mean, I don't know what's happened to you. I mean, talk about talk about a change in personal profile. Evidence for a change in personal profile. Right here, Phil. Like right here. I just did sound. You did, you even press record on my phone. You're like Yeah. You're like first director. Laura and Andy, watch out. You're like first director, floor manager. Yeah. Very similar. And writer. Very similar very similar. Right, I'm getting all very busy. Okay. Well, first of all, I have to say about the stripes, Phil. I'm loving the winter. The winter strikes. Yeah, we've gone full strikes today. Yeah. Loving the winter. It's alright. Well, it's alright when the sun comes out. Well, I'm sorry for the people who suffer from the sad. Which is a thing. It is a thing. It is a thing. But the sun is just coming out today. We we walked in rain and now it now it's sunny. I'm just gonna pull that blind down actually because it's so sunny now. Can you believe it? There we go. Very nice. It's all about environment. So, well, personal profile, episode two of this series. This is this is the two that we're doing. Yes, before we dive into it though, I just have to say I went to a reunion last night which I'm going to possibly mention throughout the episode today. It was a reunion of the company that I spent most of my time in before. Obviously, I run 40 Human Being with You, uh, the Walt Disney Company, and I haven't seen some of those people for 20 years. It was a really good reference point for your reputation so far. Yeah. People I hadn't seen for 20 years. Yeah. You walk in a room and they respond in a certain way. That tells you a lot. So I might talk about that. It was fun. It's so that's so interesting, isn't it? Is how do people respond when you walk into a room? And I think it was, Matt, I don't know if it came from another company kind of mission statement or something, but I think it's in many of those books around kind of influencing and impact. Delight your customers. And when you walk into a room, do people respond with delight? I hope. Or nothing. Or who are you? Or who are who are you? Or oh no. You know. I have to say for I mean. Did you get a lot of delight? Not to blow my own trumpet. Blow it, pen. Blow it, come on. We'll have a trumpet, Laura. Okay, this is the pen pen pen blowing a trumpet. People think I'm quite humble, and I don't know. But there's a sort of paradox, isn't there? Because you blow your own trumpet in the humility and humbleness of your own home. Or now the podcast. So there's a there's only two of us here, Pen. No, no one on the home. No one on the home. Delight felt delight. But maybe, maybe one needs to not see people for 20 years. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Maybe two hours every 20 years. You can be delightful, you can be delighted. But we can all be delightful for two hours, can't we? Every 20 years. It's harder to be delightful every day. It's so fun. I have to say that was so fun. That is a good point, though. If I saw them every night of the week, would I get the same level of delight? You know, there is something here, isn't there, about daily long-term delighting that is different. It's like in being in a relationship. Whereas, you know, if you go to a dinner party or you go to a party or you get introduced to someone's friend, and you go, oh I totally my new best friend, totally love that person. You've met them for about half an hour. Yeah. And you've got the absolute tippity tip tip tip tip top of the iceberg. And of course, yes. We're all many things. Well, the other thing I'm gonna say, which we'll put a pin in for another time, Phil, is um, because we talk a lot about how our brains actually work versus how we think they work. And I you know, I worked in this organisation for well over a decade, and it was, I mean, it was hard work. I mean, as lots of jobs are, you know, it was a lot of hard work, a lot of pressure, and there were moments of fun. And I have to say, in the sort of two or three hours last night I spent with these ex-colleagues, what did we talk about? We talked about the fun. Yeah. That was the sticky stuff. Nobody spent three hours talking about all of the deadlines, pressures that you know we had to deliver. Which, you know, if I was being rational, I would say that probably took up a much bigger proportion of my time. That's not what we spoke about. We spoke about the offsites, the times in the pub, and it's what people remember, and actually, that's a really good segue. Sock it to us, sock it to us, Laura. Into why bother with personal profile? You know, you've got deadlines to meet, you've got targets to hit, and actually, people don't remember those. And we were also talking about and also kind of coaching people and talking to people who feel a huge level of stress, high degree of anxiety, low levels of happiness, and it's all about targets and delivery and really losing that human touch. We've talked about AI, there's even more reason now to become more of a communicator, relational connector. And also, and we were talking about this as well this morning, that with technology moving so quickly, if you invest all of your identity in the thing that you're doing, yeah. So, for example, if you'd have invested all your identity in Kodak or, you know, making film or VHS tapes or whatever it might be. But that was the most important thing. What you'd contributed to that. That was the most important thing. Selling those things or whatever, marketing those things, whatever it was, and you lose sight of the driven, the shared purpose, what it is to be human, to drive with meaning and connectivity, then suddenly VHS is and camera film for everyday use, most people doesn't exist anymore. It's like blockbuster, and all of that meaning has now gone. Yeah. And what are you left with? And it's sort of what you experience at Disney. I mean, Disney's a good example of an industry that does not look like it did when you were absolutely does not look like it did 20 years ago. I mean, if you think about the distribution of TV and film versus when we were young, I mean, it's we really we had two paper cups and a piece of string, didn't we, Penn? Exactly. And one of those Victorian flip books to get pictures moving. What if my legacy was all about some amazing sort of process or spreadsheet I'd created in order to be able to analyse the data? Like it would be so beyond redundant. Yeah, that's right. That's right. But of course, the legacy is not that, the legacy is the relationship, which is great. The legacy is the relationships and also how people felt working. How people felt working with you, and also the collective curiosity and moving into the next phase of life. Yeah, and everyone's in that next. We're all in the next phase, and and actually, but this is so relevant to what so many clients are asking us to do at the moment is shift that mindset into curiosity, into sort of stepping in, into innovation, you know, press refresh. And who do you want to step one step, two steps, ten steps, twenty-year steps into the future with, not the people going, rowing backwards and holding back and going, this is going to be too difficult, this is the you know, this shouldn't be happening, we should go back to. You want to be you want to be rowing with the people who are going, yeah, let's see, shall we? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you want to come and have a look. Let's go. Uncomfortable, risky, let's do it anyway. I'm with you, I'm with you. And that is based on how you feel when you're around them. It's not based on an Excel spreadsheet maker. Well, exactly. Exactly, exactly. There's no exactly because also, because everything is new all the time, we've been talking with the clients about this. We've got no evidence of whether or not that person can has got your back when you're or is gonna work. No. We've been talking a lot about because we've got no evidence for it. But do you know someone's gonna be good at AI prompting or what you don't know exactly? And and actually, we've been talking with a lot of clients now. This is a bit of a side note, and we will definitely come back to this in the new year, about storytelling, and actually, with what's coming, the story visioning version of our storytelling uh model, the story loop, is much more relevant at the moment because you don't have case studies to call back to. You've got to create visions of this is what it's gonna look like, how exciting. Do you know it's really interesting you say that for, and we will get onto the topic, but um, one of the people I saw was my um dear, lovely, wonderful ex-boss George O'Stock, who has has definitely moved into a whole new sort of part of his life, and he's sort of working in the in the wine industry. And you know the first thing he said to me about this wine that he's um sort of developing, he said, Penelope said it's all about narrative. Wine is all about narrative, and you're and you're like, and you don't mean the narrative that people spin after about half-life out of your glasses, yeah. And I just thought, you know, it's so true. You know, we talk about storytelling and narrative so much, yeah, and there's literally not an industry or product or experience in the world where it's not all about the narrative. Yeah, it's so interesting. It's absolutely right. So before we start, I really want to mention a quote that strangely I heard this morning and I thought was so spot on for this topic, and it's um it's attributed to a peace pilgrim, so it's uh anonymous, and this is the quote Life is like a mirror. Smile at it, and it smiles back at you. And I love that because it really is saying you sort out your own personal profile, you sort out your own personal profile, your own position, and you decide what you put into the world, and that is then how you'll experience the world, and that really speaks to what we talk about with your personal profile is that when you really get conscious of the story you're telling and putting into the world, guess what? Your world changes, your experience changes. It's it's related to that quote, isn't it? That we don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are. And the other thing that I that I see a lot of is that we imagine ourselves to be sort of one thing, the sort of driving head of a sales or whole organization, success, success, success, and then we lose sight of I'm a bit frightened, or I'm gonna miss that person now, they're leaving, or we just lose sight of all of the or or I'm excited, we lose sight of joy or excitement. So we lose sight of these other things. So maybe let's talk about how we can. Well, I my humdinger wasn't actually the quote. So here's Oh my goodness. No, no, I thought that was a humd. No, no, here's the hummy ding-dong, right? Of why should we bother? Now take a breath, everyone. We already are online so much of the time. We already live in a world where CCTV cameras could be filming you at any time. We live in a world where people talk about you even if you don't think that they do. We live in a world where anybody anytime in public could be filming you on your mobile phone. We live in a world where we don't actually quite know if our technology in our house is filming us. And we live in a world where a very well-known brand of sunglasses already done this. We've got Google glasses, but they've already done prototypes of within a pair of glasses. So if anybody's if you see anybody wearing Ray bands, just watch out. Watch out, just just pause pause for thought. Because this technology is only going to increase. Now, phones, you might be able to see someone lifting a phone up in opposite you in the train carriage. You might think, are they watching that or are they filming me? So you might be able to notice that with a pair of glasses, less so. Yeah. And these glasses, yes, they can have all the sort of floating screen in front of your eyes, and we can we you and I could share a screen, we'll both have the same screens with our with our glasses, but also I could just press record. Now, what's interesting about this is we talk about the evolution of consciousness, and of course, our thinking from history and from everything that we've done and come from is that the evolution of consciousness comes from the evolution of our inner selves and our philosophy, our understanding and our growth, we live for longer, more wisdom, collective wisdom, etc. But of course, there's an argument for if we don't know there's an argument for what it what even is the inner self, but anyway, exactly. But if if we are potentially being captured on camera at all times, which self are we going to bring to the world? How conscious do we want to be? How conscious do we want to be? And of course, from a 4D no now that now there's a dystopian piece to this, of course, where we where we're like, oh, does that mean we can't just have a bit of a rant in the street? So pretending all the time or pretending all the time, or becoming more intentional all the time, which is an interesting one. It doesn't mean necessarily never saying I disagree with you and I'm not happy about that, but it might mean not being like a raging toddler. Exactly. Yeah. So I just I want to put that in, yeah. I want to put why bother with your personal profile in the context of where we are. And just just to go back to my Disney reunion last night, my equivalent of this back in the day before all this technology. Technology, yeah. I said to somebody last night, because we were talking about, you know, we've all got grown-up or teenage kids now, and the fact that they're be, you know, that everything's being filmed and everything's on TikTok. And I and I said, look, my equivalent of this is somewhere in the Disney office in London, there is a dusty VHS in a cover somewhere of me standing on a desk singing karaoke that probably will never be seen again. Yes. That's my Yay to VHS. The world has changed. The world has changed. That's right, that's right. The world has changed. It's all, it's it's it's like it's like we had these sort of little buckets that you had to sort of pay to get to have a look at, and now there's just one big bucket and everything can go in it. Exactly, it's so true. So, why is why is personal profile important? Well, you know, I'm giving the extreme example of, you know, we could be being filmed at any time, and as I say, there's a whole kind of moral and ethical debate about that. But point being, we are living in a world where, you know, if we think about 100 years ago, 150 years ago, where you might go to work, shut the door in your oak panelled office and see one or two people who, you know, come and I don't know, you know, take notes for you, or whatever it is. Like that, so few people in terms of how your personal profile is spread. And if we think about how quickly your profile is spread now, it's like wildfire. So, and it all starts with us, and we talked about that in the last episode. So we're gonna, in this episode, we're gonna give a couple of we're gonna give a couple of practical tips. We're gonna talk about our 4D on-demand personal profile programme, which has got a huge suite of tools in it, and we're gonna touch on judgment as well. Yeah, the other side of things. Yeah. So I think maybe let's start, because we did promise in the last episode we would start with beneath the iceberg in terms of the self-talk that we have. So imagining who we should do that really sits on top of the narrative that we have inside of our heads, which which could be something like I should be more successful or I should be more nicer all the time. Yes, or or or it might be a narrative that you know I'm an imposter, I'm not very good at this, whatever it might be. Of course, it might be a narrative that's very balanced and healthy and positive. Lots of us have got both sides of that narrative, and because of our negative bias, generally speaking, a lot of us have got more skewed to the negative in terms of that self-talk. And we can think about that in terms of the beneath the iceberg part of our personal profile, because everything else sits on top of that in terms of how we walk into a room, how we behave, how we speak, what people think of us. So if we think about that, that inner narrative, we have a wonderful tool that we use called the neural reframe. Yes, and it's called the neural reframe for a really good reason because you are you are firstly reframing something in a very different way consciously, but secondly, because it is neurally changing how much when we think about that sort of subjective, quite negative self-talk, we want to flip it into a more objective, positive self-talk that's much more about uh being objective, looking at facts, future looking, and what have I learned rather than self-critical and still truthful, yeah, still absolutely truthful. So if we go through the uh the neural reframe, we'll do a kind of quick version of it on this podcast. As I say, the full suite of tools is on 4D, the 4D website, 4D on demand. I'm gonna say it right here, right now. It's Friday. This we're recording, so that we're on the, where are we, the 14th? Yes. On the 14th of November, I think this will come out in a couple of weeks. On this Sunday, 16th, I think it is, is it? Our new website launches. So not only has the website and 4D on demand got a really fabulous new look, great navigation, AI teaching mentor, you've got 40 in your pocket 24-7, bite-sized modules, you've got note taking, progress tracking, certificates, like on it, on it goes, and you've got a free level. One of the big things is you can click to buy now. So for a long time we've only used it within our client base, but now you can buy it. You can become a four D O D's going level. So all of these tools are on there. So to give a quick grabbable version of the neural reframe, this also ties in with who's driving the bus, is your emotional self or your intentional self driving the bus? And this tool also does that, reframes things mentally so you can shift from the emotional reactivity into an intentional thinking process and self-thinking, self-narrative. So anytime that you find yourself saying, Oh, I'm rubbish, I'm not good enough at that people think um I should have, why didn't I? Or shame has overtaken you, that this is a really useful tool, even for something as deep as shame or or guilt, whether you know you might want to do some longer-term work on that, but this is gonna help you. Have a vent if you want to, but vent it to the right person, or on your own, but or in your in the woods or wherever you want, or in your own home. But but get it out. I would offer you get it out. You know, two minutes, punch a pillow. But but that internalization of that of those feelings and that narrative is tight. So I would definitely offer you get it out, like release it. Two minutes. Uh and be and like I said, being cautious who who you are. Definitely, because obviously this is why we're talking about this, because perhaps too often we allow that or parts of that to escape verbally, and then that is shaping your home. And what's important to say about this is you may well feel justified. You may feel that you're right, you may feel that it's fair, you may feel that the other person is totally in the wrong. That might actually be true. And when you start venting or gossiping and being negative about someone else, sadly, this really will reflect on you more than you realise. Yes, it might make someone else think, yeah, no, you're right, that person is awful. But actually, what's going to be a stronger impact is that you are a person who gets really wound up, you know, feels a lot of anger and wants to talk about how difficult other people are. So this is so important for you internally and externally. So, as Penn said, if you're going to vent it to someone else, choose your trusted confidant very, very carefully. They must have sealed, hermetically sealed confidence walls. Confidence walls, exactly. So once you've done that, great, now done. The emotion's been vented. Now you're gonna strip it out. What are the facts? I saw Bob at two o'clock on Thursday. We bumped into each other on the corridor, we discussed the next marketing initiative. Bob thought that we should be launching it in the summer. I felt we should launch it in the autumn. Bob had already spoken to Deirdre about it. I who are these people? Who are these people? Um I I had not been copied into that email. Right. Facts. Facts. Those are facts, which the previous one would have sounded now. She's vintage deirdre. She's trying to stab me in the back. I don't know why Bob's marriage. I'm escalating, I can't work with him. Right, so that would have been the first one. The second one, I've just noticed how our graphic equalizer sound has gone off and gone off the roots. So the second one is pure facts, and you gotta really watch yourself. If anybody left a meeting, they didn't storm out, they walked out five minutes early, or they they went out quickly. Five minutes early, fine. But facts, facts, facts. This is really important, this this stage in this process because this is really calming down your amygdala, and it's really engaging the two halves of your brain. We're shifting across that corpus callosum, it's simply facts. We're getting your prefrontal cortex back online. It has to come back online because you are asking it to give you facts. We cannot tell you how important that is. The main problem with dysregulation and irritation and anger, and therefore becoming that becoming who you are, is that your prefrontal cortex has gone offline. So this is a great way. If you have to write it down, it was it two o'clock, three o'clock, you know, the confusion, you've got to break through that confusion, get the facts. Right. Once you've got your facts, now you can move to stage three. So you'll start asking yourself a series of questions, and this is all within our neural reframe tool, which um you can find within our 40 on demand personal profile series. So, in what we would call the right-hand side of our neural reframe tool, we will ask ourselves the questions such as what was I pleased with? What worked? What might I do differently next time? What did I learn? Uh, what do I know about myself? Those kind of questions that are very much talking about the positive side of the conversational meeting, uh, what I might have learned and what I might do differently next time. So it's much more taking ownership, taking control, learning from it rather than absolutely berating ourselves or berating the other person, which is often always less useful. Yeah, and there's always, always something you can find. So, what was really useful about that conversation with Bob outside the elevators was we really flushed out what was going on. I was really pleased that we agreed to follow up and have another conversation and schedule another meeting. What I learned was Bob and I need to speak much earlier on about what we both expect and who we think is running and where the Venn diagram of who's doing what comes in. What I know about myself is that I can move through my difficult feelings and I absolutely can reconnect to my intention of wanting to make this work. I feel very, very strongly about succeeding together. Yeah, and and I I will say on this that of course we can use this in many ways in terms of narrative. We can use it around conflict, we can use it relationally, but the reason we have it in our personal profile series and the reason we're talking about it today is not necessarily around conflict management. What it what it is around is understanding that the way you talk in your head about other people and situations and yourself is building neural pathways in your brain, it's building beliefs in your brain about who you are and who other people are, and then that will lead you to behave and speak in certain ways about yourself and other people, and that is building your reputation in the outside world. Absolutely. So it absolutely starts with how you talk to yourself, absolutely the absolute starting point, and we can be quite cruel to ourselves, and this tool is just to it's it's been an absolute game changer for me, I have to say, and it's not that those you know, sort of catastrophizing or self-critical thoughts don't don't still come to us, it's the speed with which we can just realign and use that reframe to flip it, and it's a game changer in terms of your regulation, how you feel about yourself, how you speak about yourself, what you feel is possible. It's just a game changer. So, all of this is is about narrative, and we cannot reiterate that enough. Narrative, narrative, narrative, and it all starts with what you believe in your head. So moving on from the reframe tool is a really lovely one that sits in that similar territory, but is really grabbable, which is about shifting, creating that bridge from your internal narrative, what you believe about yourself in a more positive and truthful way, and how you start bridging that to the narrative, the profile, the reputation, the brand that's out there in the world. And this is called Three Worlds. I absolutely love this. And I will uh reference uh before we dive into this um Carla Harris. If you look her up online, she is an incredible businesswoman, and she talks about sort of the pearls, if you like, and uh she she kind of she talks about and she demonstrates this tool absolutely brilliantly and talks about how game-changing it is and what the three words is about. It's that next step above the iceberg of recognising the words that are coming out of your mouth when you're when you're perhaps talking about yourself, so it might be in an introduction or in an interview or something like that, but it might also be when you're talking about a project that you're delivering or having a conversation with a team, really getting conscious of the type of language that you're using, particularly perhaps the adjectives that you're using. It's gone full doggy crazy. So, particularly, in fact, the adjectives that you're using. And we're we're often not aware of the language that we're using, it can be quite sort of pattern-based, can't it? And some of us can be quite self-deprecating and think that using sort of strong adjectives is is too much. Yeah. So just first of all, notice what words you're using, and then the three words is about choose three words that you would love people to use about you when you're not in the room. Um, because as we always say at 4D, uh whether you like it or not, lots of the really big decisions uh in your career will be made by people when you are not in the room. So, what three words would you love people to use about you? Now that might be inspiring, talented, courageous, uh Carla Harris particularly chose a tough, which I quite like. Um it might be energy, creative, they're often energy, whatever those three words are, and start using those words in your vocabulary when you're talking about yourself, particularly, but also when you're talking about other people on your team because you are you are newly programming other people's brains, those are the words that they will associate with you. And I think lots of us think that we are either not something or that we have to massively change our behaviours to be something. I think we might be surprised how much we're influencing people's beliefs about our individual language. Absolutely. I think this was one of the very big turning points in my own life was understanding that the language that I use and the story that I tell will start shaping my reality. And it sounds a bit start shaping your reputation and your reputation, and it sort of sounds a bit kind of, you know, you sort of think, really? It's just it's just work, but it absolutely is true. And as you said, Penelope, there's you can use this explicitly and you can without, you know, if you if you if you feel you're a bit humble, you don't want to be too like, well, I'm somebody who you can you can sneak it in at the beginning of a conversation or a meeting or a presentation. Very easy. Well, you know, as someone who loves working with energy, creativity, and a go-for-it attitude. Yeah. Um, I want to talk about this project. You just slip it in almost as a buy as a by word. Like it's not really what I'm talking about. You just put your card on the code. But you've just exactly you've just put your business card on the this is what it's like to work with me. And the other way, of course, is oh, you know, Bob, I'd love you to get involved in this project. I think it's going to be a really super energized team. They are absolutely spilling over with creativity. And you know what I love about them? They've got a real we can do this, go for it, astray. And you also might want to go into that sort of tough, tougher space as well. I mean, lots of us I think feel like perhaps we don't get our voices in the room or we're not taken seriously. So using those words like, you know, I'm someone who who takes tough decisions. You know how to say I'm a tough person, but I'm someone who takes tough decisions and I'm very happy to stand my ground. Yeah. Uh you know, using those kind of words, or or you know, one of the reasons I'm in this job is because it's a it involves a lot of tough uh tough uh decisions. Or yeah, or you know, we need to be quite powerful about how we move this forward. And I and I yeah, and I'm I'm happy to lead through challenge. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, lovely. So start playing with it. Pick your three words. And of course, this can be used verbally. And of course, it can also be used on your hashtags, social media, your LinkedIn profile. You really want something in that first line of any social media profiles to have some kind of meaning words about who you are, not just what you do. Remember, what you do is going to be obsolete. Your reputation is going to last. That's your legacy. Yeah, hashtag your legacy. Okay, I want to talk about one more thing on that, which is diminutive language. I just want to pop this in. In fact, I just want to pop this in. There it is. Because it's catching that, you know, there's lots of stuff around this on the internet. Notice what you do. I'm going to reference our Chancellor. Rachel, if you're listening, please get in touch. I'm doing it now because I'm trying to think of the right words, but the ums, the ars, the the little filler words, the jolting way that you speak. I don't know if somebody like Rachel Reeves realizes how much that has dictated how people feel. You know, we were in an audience of a political podcast the other night, and we were all asked to put our hands up about how we felt if the manifesto was broken. Would people be annoyed? Barely anybody put their hand up. Because I think people are saying, we we need to fill this budget hole. We need to get things sold. We need to get things sold. We need to tax. That's how a lot of people feel. And the reason that we don't feel comfortable or confident. We don't feel held. So we don't feel held is because of the uh so your profile absolutely depends on the language that you use and also how you speak. So I I really wanted to put that in because it's all very well if you said, well, you know, I'm uh I'm somebody who's cre I think I'm creative. If it's being just doing it, yeah. I think we should just be a bit more creative. So really watch those redu that reducing language. It's a huge thing. There's loads more in our personal profile series. Go to Oh my goodness, 40humanbeing.com. You've got all your internal profile, your physical profile, external. You've got everything moving up to being good to work with, using language, right into creating a powerful reputation, repairing a reputation that's been damaged, and then all of the online pieces, CV, blog, biogues, um, posts, there's loads more. So check that out. Profile with purpose, finding meaning, exactly. So that is ready to buy. Woohoo! Online. So excited about that. Before we go, yeah, and before we finish this podcast today, we must go back to what we mentioned around judgment. And I think actually, we'll do a whole podcast, maybe two, maybe three on judgment, because it's such a topic that comes up again and again, and something that in workshops and in programmes that we run, it it's and coaching particularly, you know, what we think people are saying about us, judgments that we think people will have, really has an impact, and we're usually negative. Like we don't we're not usually thinking, oh, you know, people are saying amazing things about me. We we you know we have that negative bias, we worry that that our profile is not positive and that people are judging us. So here's six things to think about on judgment, and then we will, I think we will come back to yeah, the idea of human judgment and what it does to us. Okay, firstly, people are thinking a lot less about you than you think. That's just the truth. They are judging and thinking a lot less about you, they're usually thinking about their own impact themselves. Yeah. Secondly, if they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it anyway. So all of that worry and concern and ruminating and anxiety around judgment and what people might be saying, if they're gonna do it anyway, you really don't have any control over it. Thirdly, when people judge, it's usually saying more about them than it is about you. In psychotherapy, of course, that's called projection. We can often judge the things in others that we don't like in ourselves, so that's quite a nice way to reframe it as well. It's usually other people's stuff that they're judging you about, it's often not even yours. Number four, we create so much narrative in our heads. We are these the most amazing storytellers when it comes to judgment, and it exists so much more in our head than anywhere else in the world, in conversations or in other people's heads. We are narrative creators. So take a moment and maybe think about almost like you could think about a set of scales very that's very unbalanced, or you could think about like a pie chart or a pizza. And if you if you create a tiny slice of the pizza and you put a tiny weight on one of the scales, that's about how much of this may actually exist in the world in terms of judgment about you. And on the other side, the massive, massive most of the pizza, the the most of the weight on the scales, that is how much is simply in your head that is just torturing you and doesn't even exist. So always, always good to remember that. Number five is of course, we can work on our own ego. We can stop wishing that the world would stop judging us or somebody, you know, a parent or a family member or a colleague stops saying the same things or you know, judging us uh around the same issues or whatever it might be. And we can just work on our own ego. We can get our ego into such a healthy state that it stops getting under our skin. We can get our egos into a place where we go, okay, that person thinks that I'm uh too direct. Okay, that's that's that's what that's how they feel. For me, this is where I needed to be in this project. So do your own work, get your ego healthy. That will change your experience of yourself, and you really will worry so much less about what other people think because it's not getting under your skin, it's not getting in. And finally, number six is of course, we all judge. You judge, I judge. So, one of the things we can do is rather than worrying about what other people are saying and their judgment, we can check in on our own and maybe take a moment and think, when I think that person's mean and I go and talk to someone else about that person being mean, is that me being mean about somebody I think is mean? We can catch our own judgment. That is something you can absolutely control. So if you want to diminish judgment in the world, you can start with yourself because you can totally control that. So that is a quick look at judgment. As I say, we will look at this in another podcast, and it's a life-changing topic to explore and get on top of and make some changes in. So those are your tips. Yes, it's all in your hands, your story starts with you. Have a play with it. If you want people to speak about you in a different way, if you really want to take charge of your legacy, you know that lovely poem Dash, which is about we mentioned that last time with the with the years on the gravestone and what's in the dash, you could write that dash. You're writing that story, the next conversation you have, the next room you walk into, take a moment. What story are you telling physically and emotionally and linguistically? Yeah, it's in your hands. If somebody comes up to you and says, Ah, this is difficult, this is a problem, take a moment. Yeah, don't join them, see if you can reframe right in that moment and become the person who can shift something into a possibility, and that is a profile and a brand that people want to work with. And remember that even if you're very, very busy, dedicating a small amount of time to this is going to make all the difference. Because, like Philip has said, the the the I'm afraid the tasks you're doing and delivering will probably be obsolete in 20 years' time, but your profile won't, and you want to be walking into a room in 20 years' time, and other people's faces fill with delight at seeing you walk in the room. It's been a delight. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the 40 Human Being Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. Do take on board some of the insights, tools, and tips because every time that you try something new to get back to choice, you are making a vote for the you that you want to become. And I I love that phrase, Pen. I do too. And please do share this episode with somebody that you know would really benefit from the lessons and learnings we've been chatting about today. And of course, if you're interested in more from 4D Human Being, do get in touch. We run workshops, trainings online, in person, conference events and keynotes. We've got the 4D on-demand platform for your whole organization, and we do have a free essentials membership where anybody can sign up for absolutely free to access some of our insights, tools, and tips. So do get in touch with us if you'd like to hear more. We cannot wait to hear from you and to carry on the conversation.