4D Human Being Podcast

Spiral Dynamics: Communicating Across Value Systems for Impact

• 4D Human Being • Season 4 • Episode 47

Share episode

Ever wonder why some conversations flow effortlessly while others feel like you're speaking entirely different languages? The answer lies in understanding value systems, the internal frameworks that determine how we process information and connect with others.

We explore the practical application of Spiral Dynamics, revealing how to communicate effectively with people across different value sets. Whether you're trying to influence a team member who prizes autonomy (Red), collaborate with a colleague who thrives on processes (Blue), or connect with a partner who prioritises inclusivity (Green), we provide concrete strategies to help your message resonate.

We break down exactly how to adjust your language, tone, medium, and timing based on the values of your audience. For those who value tribal belonging (Purple), we show how informal settings and team-focused language create connection. For success-driven individuals (Orange), we demonstrate how framing conversations around opportunity and achievement yields results. Each value set requires its own unique approach, and we give you the tools to master them all.

But this isn't just theory, it's immediately applicable communication magic. We share real-world examples of how shifting your approach can transform relationships, reduce friction, and help you achieve your goals more efficiently. From crafting the perfect email subject line to knowing when a spontaneous conversation will be more effective than a scheduled meeting, these insights will revolutionise how you interact with everyone in your life.

By understanding the values that drive different communication styles, you gain the ability to create what we call "fertile soil", the perfect conditions for your message to be received exactly as intended. This isn't about manipulation; it's about thoughtful influencing that respects others' perspectives while achieving meaningful connection.

Ready to transform your communication effectiveness? Listen now and discover how to speak the language of values that everyone around you will understand.

Here is an excellent - and FREE - Spiral Influencing Worksheet from 4D. 

https://www.4dhumanbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/4D-Spiral-Dynamics-Language-handout-4DHB.pdf


Speaker 1:

Hello, my name is Philippa Waller, my name is Penelope Waller and we are two of the directors at 4D Human being. And welcome to the 4D Human being podcast. What's it all about, pen? It's all about your personal and professional relationships. It's about your communication skills, how you lead, how you work and build teams, how you are looking after yourself and your well-being, and how you are much more at choice. What do we mean by that? Well, sometimes we can get a little caught in patterns in life and we can all be a little bit on our automatic pilot. So 40 Human being is all about helping us get back to choice and being a four-dimensional human being and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention. And being a four-dimensional human being and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention. So, whether it's about your impact, your leadership style, your team dynamics, whether it's about your well-being, whether it's about your communication or your presentation skills, anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, 40 Human being are here to help. We're going to take a deep dive and look at some tools, insights, theories that are going to help you go from a 3D human doing to a 4D human being, so that you can happen to the world rather than the world simply happening to you.

Speaker 1:

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to the 4D Human Beings Podcast. That was a very formal introduction, very formal, you know me. On a Wednesday afternoon the weather has broken, we do like it. I had my garden sort of refreshed this morning by the rain. Garden happy, dog happy, everyone happy. Yeah, I could actually leave the house with the dog, marvellous, not complaining about the heat, though Very much enjoying the heat. Yep, lovely nose, flip-flops, exactly, exactly. So we are on podcast two yes, spiral Dynamics, yes, and before we dive into the actually really really practical application of this amazing model and how we can talk to different people in ways that will absolutely sing to them, this is really about great communication and influencing. Before we do that, though, catgate Give us a little update. So update on Catgate.

Speaker 1:

This is Penelope driving down through europe to pick up at least one of her children and the cat, yes, for the summer in italy to be brought back to live with dog in england interesting, yes, and I've never owned a cat before, never had a cat in the house and bear, my dog has never met a cat, so that's a whole other than on the street, yes, or barking at a cat on top of the shed. So, other than that, let's see what happens when they meet. Yes, the big drive is happening on saturday, so there, well, two things to say. One is I have purchased I what I think are the necessary items for cat gate, which are an identity tag, a tracker, a collar, a harness, a cooling pad in the car, a travel cat litter. I don't think I've forgotten anything, but it's not like it's not a familiar thing for me to travel with the cat. That's one thing I think I'm kitted up. But the second thing is I am learning and improving my French, and I had a French lesson yesterday and was asking my French teacher for certain phrases like I need to charge my car, and, and I said I need to be able to say j'ai perdu mon chat. And I said let's hope you don't need that phrase. What I love is I don't need that phrase. But what I love is I'm just gonna. I'm gonna do a super duper megaton segue here. What I love is even our little detour into European cat gate. It's all about communication Every step of the way. It's all about communication because it's not only about finding out where you can charge your electric car and all of those things. It's knowing that you can communicate to someone if you've lost your cat. Those are the important things, aren't they? Let's really really hope, as you say, that I don't need that phrase. But I will try and update you on route phil, what's what's happening with cat gate, and hopefully there'll be nothing to report. But well, I'm hoping we're going to get a little bit of live recording from in the car and we will insert it into the podcast with me with me, like screaming and trying to get the cat off the scene, scratching paw. I'm presuming the cat is going to be in some sort of contained area. Well, the cat is going to be in a container. You know one of those sorts of containers that you take it to the, to the vet. But, um, you know, given that my daughter will obviously be in the car with me and the cat, I can't guarantee that my daughter won't take the cat out of the container at some point.

Speaker 1:

It's a movie in which, from the cat's perspective, of course, as in all cats, you are just, you're just extras, you are subsidiary roles, roles. This is the cat story. They are. I think my whole summer feels a bit like this is the cat summer and you are you are a supporting role in the movie of the cat. I am, and and really what my role is. I've decided what my role is. I've gone through various phases thinking about this. Because I'm not a cat person. I've decided that my role is sort of like, you know, the sort of command and control like M or Q, back at base while things are sort of happening out there. I sort of see myself as I've just basically got to make sure that the manoeuvres that are made keep the cat alive. We'll keep everyone alive. Quite frankly, I just want to notice I'm going to do another super segue here with our work, more of the internal development work we do with our clients.

Speaker 1:

I'm not a cat person. Some of you may have noticed that phrase. Whenever we hear, oh, that's not me, or I'm not like that, that's always a really good flag for us to go oh, that's interesting, let's challenge that. Yeah, let's try that, could you? But you know I'm not, I'm not, I'm not someone who does inspiring, tells inspiring stories. Okay, well, let's, you know I'm, I'm not, that, I'm not a high energy person. Oh well, let's challenge that. So the challenge is by the end of the summer.

Speaker 1:

Let's see what the narrative is around you and cats, and I will say that usually I am very open and curious to step into. You know that's not me or that doesn't. You know I don't do that. I'm usually very curious to step into that, but on this occasion it is slightly reluctant. Yeah well, curiosity killed the cat and it might kill you as well. So let's watch this space, pen. Okay, let's see. She's not that open. She's got not an open mindset to cats. Interesting, pen we found your closed door. We'll see what happens. We'll see. Okay, so super, segueing to Je peux pas du manger.

Speaker 1:

Learning to communicate, learning to communicate according to context in france, with a cat in the car, you have to change your communication, and so you do with people who have different values. So if you haven't listened to the previous podcast where we outlined the spiral dynamics model, please listen to that, because other than a headline here, we're not going to go through that model again and give you tools to help you communicate specifically to people in different value sets. And we're also going to add into that ways of communicating, so sort of email, how long emails could be, and also we're going to add in a bit around tone and body language, because it really is different depending on who you're talking to in terms of how you make people feel. And you know again we talked about this in the last podcast almost the field, the kind of atmosphere that you're creating that's fertile for that person. Before you've even asked for the thing that you're asking for Exactly how much, are you creating the right sort of soil to start having that conversation? So we're going to talk about that.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to do a very, very quick top line summary on the model. It's a developmental model. We move through different value sets as we evolve and we also all show up in different value sets. We have dominant ones and we can move through them and these are about the things that we care about most, our priorities. So the first one on the scale is purple and that's about the family, the tribe, the we, the team. That's what's important, very emotional, we take care of each other.

Speaker 1:

Red coming out of purple Red. It's about me, me, me, me and me, me, me, my way. What I want Can be very useful, though Can be very useful it. It can be very useful, though it can be very useful. It's very driven. Just get things done. It's a doer Out of red.

Speaker 1:

We go historically. Of course we go to school. Once we've been a toddler, we go and learn the rules. Blue is, as probably you would guess from other models, rules-based processes, data, information, fact. It's a we position. Let's all abide by the rules and abide by this process Timelines, deadlines, stages, processes, organising. Out of blue, we've got the rules, want to bend them a bit, want a bit more growth and expansion.

Speaker 1:

We go into orange. This is about success, ambition, strategy, growth, innovation. Orange is want to win, want the awards, want the recognition, want the Prada handbag. All about success. This is capitalism. This is corporate, corporate, global. And then we move out of orange. Think Bill Gates We've got all the yachts, cars and Prada handbags we can possibly use.

Speaker 1:

We move out of orange because something else is wanting. We move into green. This is caring, sharing, pluralism. All voices must be heard. All voices count. Very pluralism. All voices must be heard. All voices count. Very inclusive.

Speaker 1:

The downside of green is don't like people who aren't inclusive problem. So that's great. Can you be a bit more like me, please? Can you be a bit more green in your head? So everything's got its healthy and unhealthy side, as you think about that, from purple team, that's great, but not so great. If you're not in the team red, great, my way I'm gonna get what I want. Not so great. If you're not in the team Red, great, my way I'm going to get what I want. Not so great if you don't, if you'll go against me.

Speaker 1:

Blue processes, data, facts, timelines, deadlines Great, can get slow, dogged. We can't do that because it's not part of the process. Can't change. Orange, yeah, super successful, go, go, go, growth, growth, growth, greedy, greedy, greedy. Eat up the planet. And then green, as we said pluralism, everybody, caring, sharing, everybody, be nice, don't like people who don't act like me.

Speaker 1:

And then we take the big leap from green into yellow, which is systems thinking, eye position. I can see the whole system. I can flex up and down, I can communicate with people at different colours, different spiral levels, different value sets, and that is what we're going to be giving you today. From a yellow position. I can move up and down, I can influence where I need to. I can talk to my accountants in finance from blue. Even though I know we've got to flex the rules a bit. I'm going to talk from blue to help them shift and help them feel comfortable.

Speaker 1:

Well, one big watch out I would say with yellow is that whilst intellectually they understand that spirals map and can absolutely appreciate all the other value sets because they are quite complex thinkers it can be lost in translation. So sometimes pulling that communication down in a clear, concise way to the other colours can be tricky, which we'll definitely talk about. And of course, you can talk to your salespeople in red or orange from a much more dynamic language and just you, bullet point away, go for it. Send a document, read not so much, just a subject line, thank you. If not not even that, okay, nothing in email february, nothing at all. Just you're amazing. Keep going, okay, so let's talk to these colors.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, if we talk, if we think about the, the language that we might use, let's start with language and also we'll add, we'll tack on to this the sort of tone and the medium that we might use. And before we dive into the sort of language, styles and choices that we might want to use to influence people in these different value sets or states, one thing I would say, one of the big pitfalls, of course, is that generally certainly in that first tier of purple all the way through up to green. The language that we like may well be the dominant language that we use in our communication, and so, unless we are speaking to somebody who is in the same value set as us, the language that seems very rational and motivating to us could land like a ton of bricks on somebody else or not land at all. So just bear in mind that generally speaking not always, but generally speaking we may take our own perspective for how to communicate something which may not be the best way to land it with somebody else. So that's a massive pitfall that we have to watch out for. So I so I love, I love, love, love lots of nice sort of caring language and I love, love, love bullet points, like if I can have everything laid out with timelines, agendas and who's responsible for what. Love a grid, don't, I feel, love a grid, love an excel spreadsheet. Of course, that will speak beautifully to other people who've got lots of blue and a little bit of green. It won't work with someone who is highly dominant in the red value set. So we have to watch out Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So let's start with purple. When we're talking to somebody in purple, somebody in our team or in sort of family. Really, we want to use the language of that group. What do I mean by that? I mean there might be certain phrases or language or kind of in jokes or in language or kind of almost made up language, our own jargon. That's the language that's going to connect purple. So it's not just about, let's think, you know, oh, you know, that there's language that the organization might use or it might have a that it might have a mission statement or a value statement. Purple has their own version of that.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, and the way that they communicate to each other is going to be much more their own gestures, body language, tone. So so let's say you work in quite a formal organisation but in your team you've got a lot of jokers, you've got a lot of playfulness and you like to dress down a bit. That's the way to be to influence your own team. Now you're going to shift that if you're going to go and talk to the board or talk to clients. But that language, that tone that you've all sort of shared. Now the watch out for this is if you've got into a habit of being the cynical team that always finds complaints. You have to watch out for that, because that's going to drag you down. So this is where you can start to influence by finding those tiny nuggets, those tiny moments of shared language. That's really positive. What are the fun jokes or moments that you have over I don't know the birthday cake that you bought a team member or having a coffee and grab those and start introducing shared language into that cynical atmosphere to start to shift it.

Speaker 1:

You don't want to start bringing in language that doesn't really fit. This is very much. You scratch my back. Yeah, I'll scratch yours. I tell you what, Dave, if you do this for me, I'm absolutely there for you. It's loyalty. You want to use language around loyalty around being there for other people. You want to use language around loyalty around being there for other people around. It's us. So it's you and me. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1:

And if you're trying to influence people in purple, so let's imagine you're holding a big kind of end of quarter town hall or big meeting with with the whole division, different to what we'll come on to in terms of the green space. If you're talking about the collective, we as the whole of your division in front of you, that won't speak to the purple. The purple is much more interested in their small team, or even smaller than that. You might even say well, of course, you know Dave, bob and Jill yeah, you know, and what and what they do. So they want to be spoken to in terms of their mini clan. That's what they want. They want to hear what, um, what they are working. So they want to be spoken to in terms of their mini clan. That's what they want. They want to hear what they are working on, what's important about them and their names. So they're interested in the we. But think of it as concentric circles. It's a small circle in the overall collective Absolutely. So a really good tip here.

Speaker 1:

Let's say you've got a small team, but you've got one or two people who are blocking where you need to go. Let's say you're in quite an orange green organisation, so very strategic, very ambitious, growth driven and with a value set around caring and sharing. If you start talking to Bob and Dave about well, you know, the thing is, we know we're all about inclusivity here, or we're all about, you know, we're all about, you know, making sure that everyone in the organization is heard they're not going to listen to that. If you talk to bob and dave bob and dave. The thing about us here right, you and me, our team the thing about us is we all like to. We all like to muck in, don't we? And work a bit late and get the pizzas in. That's what we're about, isn't it? We're all about putting in those extra hours and then treating each other down the pub, and that's what we're going to do on this project, because that's who we are. Right, that is what is going to speak to them. This is who we are as a gang, and we're all going to do this together because we've all got each other's backs. It's not about well, jill over there, she's working hard, bob, why aren't you? That's not going to speak. We're going to pull everyone together. We all muck in, we all roll our sleeves up, don't we? Even though the guys up top, you know they're all doing this, that or the other. This is what we do. We're down here in the boiler room, sleeves rolled up, and that's who we are. And we're going to do it. We're going to prove to them.

Speaker 1:

It's that, it's that small group, and it's really important. I mean, I've worked in an organization where there were these kind of small collectives that were sort of quite well known, quite famous, had often quite quite good reputations in terms of their creativity. And you know, some of us may be thinking as we're listening to to what Philippa just said. We know sort of why why should we? Why should we sort of speak about them in that small collective when really we want, perhaps we feel we want to be speaking to the broader organization? Now, of course, it's always choice.

Speaker 1:

It's not that you have to do any of these things that my offer would be that what you really want in terms of your flex and flow and your communication to these different value sets, is you want to get those people, firstly, to understand and acknowledge and accept your message and take it on board and possibly act on it. But secondly, you want to get them into the healthiest set of behaviors and collaboration that you can. And whilst if you're sitting in a different value set say green you're thinking well, we should just be communicating to everybody. We shouldn't single out individual groups. I get it From green. I get it. But if you want to motivate purple and you want the message to land, you want to push them into that healthy, collaborative behaviour, you need to speak their language. That's what you need to do. So. It's a choice. So I'm going to add one more thing to this. So you want that we language that this is what we're like in this group, and also in terms of how you communicate.

Speaker 1:

In terms of the medium probably not formal. You probably want to take this offline. You want to take this to the cafeteria or the pub or to your kind of casual sitting space. You want to take this not on a formal meeting, but can we jump on a quick, quick call, you and me day, make it informal. This is not a formal value set. This is much more about emotion, much more about ties, emotional ties that make us work, do things for each other, even if it's not something I like doing or want to do. If the gang, the family, the tribe, you know, over a coffee, say the thing is, that would do me such a favor, bob, it would really help us all out as a team. That's what's going to do it. So don't make it formal. Make not formal favor. Okay, yes, we move into red. This is the eye position now. This. Uh, yes, we will know some reds. This can be challenging, so, and we're going to help you deal with them, you.

Speaker 1:

Some things you might hear from reds. Um, I'm not doing that. I'm in charge. I'm going to do it my way. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm just going to move forward with this. Leave me alone. I'm going on with this, with or without you.

Speaker 1:

What they don't want to hear. You're an embarrassment. It's your duty. You have to stick to the rules. Everyone else thinks you should do this and do what I tell you. Oh, they're going to hate that. Grow up. They won't like that. You're wrong. What's so special about you? This is all going to push red buttons. What they do want to hear. You, not we. You are the person for this. Only you can do this. I trust you. I wish I was like you. For me, there's no one else that can do this like you can. Can I borrow your brilliance for a moment? You're so talented. People have such respect for you. You're the best at this. You're so strong. No pressure, you choose, you decide. Yeah, that's the language they want freedom, autonomy. It's about you, your way, you do it how you want to do. We think you're great. Yeah, so reds are as we said before.

Speaker 1:

Red is a really important colour in a team and an organisation. They are the people that make things happen. They will move forward. They'll be energised. You know, particularly if things are hard, we can't get a route through, we can't make a decision. You want a red sometimes to drive through, particularly in difficult times. The two things that will motivate them will be stroking their ego. So, coming at it from an egocentric position, which is what the red value, yeah, I loved, I loved how you just drove that last project. If you hadn't done it it would have been a disaster, exactly. And again you might think, well, why should I say that? You know everyone work together. Again, it's choice. That is what will motivate the red value set. And the other thing, that, and get their defenses down and get their exactly, get them into that healthy space of feeling motivated.

Speaker 1:

The other thing that reds love is brevity and speed. So they, they want, they want a headline. So a nice tip for a red is if you're, certainly if you're, sending an email, which is, I don't think, red's favorite medium of communication, but you really want to put in the heading of the email one question or you know, really clear. And then underneath you want to be very brief and you want to say the one action I need, or the one thing or the one question. Like you want to be clear and concise, they get loads of bullet points and information. They'll never even read it. Yeah, never read it. I would, yeah, absolutely add to that, put it in a subject line. I just need 10 seconds of your time. You've just bought 10 seconds because I know it's not going to be a long document.

Speaker 1:

As Penelope said, probably don't like email. If you have a messenger app that you use at work or just give them a quick call. Something that we hear a lot about from people that we coach is, I just can't get any time with them. I can't get in touch with them. Their calendar's always full or they won't reply or they won't reply. They always cancel.

Speaker 1:

Don't try and get on the schedule of somebody in red. It's never going to work. Ask to grab two minutes of their time quickly in the moment, spontaneously, much more likely to get them, and they operate really well in that space. Now that might feel really alien to you because you would think, well, I would need time to prepare or I would want that in my calendar. I would need at least half an hour for that conversation. That is not red. They want 60 seconds quick on the phone while they're in the car going somewhere else, and they just want to answer your question and move, get it done and move on. They like things like whatsapp, those kind of messaging apps, and they really like something like a voice note, something really immediate voice notes or one quick sentence. So no long documents, no long emails. Never going to happen, okay. So don't get frustrated, act in the moment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, moving on to very, very different value set, which is blue and, by the way, just to mention on this, well, you know one of the reasons as well to get people into the healthy side of their value set. So, for example, with red, as we've just spoken about, to use these kind of communication techniques, because once you've got them into that healthy state, uh, in terms of collaboration, communication, motivation, you're much more likely to gently, over time, be able to start introducing different types of communication. So the way that we work as human beings is we move up through the value sets, but you've got to get people into a healthy state first for them to start accepting the next value set up. It's a really good point Because if you can speak to red and speak to their ego and get them in a really good place. And then you need some information put into a grid or a document. They're going to enjoy bathing in that praise of yeah, they think I'm pretty great. They're going to then enjoy much more putting their talent and work that they've done into a format that otherwise would be an absolute torture for them. So it's all about getting people in the right state.

Speaker 1:

Do you want to go through the language for blue Pen or shall I? You go ahead, I'll chip on in. I love the blue. What they might say is there's no other way to look at it. This is not what we agreed. These are the rules. Can we stick to the agenda? You have to. There's a time and a place for this. That's not in the plan. We need to do the right thing here. I'm fixed on this. I'm not going to change my mind. We need to get this organised and sorted. This is the kind of language. It's company policy, company policy.

Speaker 1:

You're going to hear that, yeah, we just don't have the scope for that. That's just not in our agenda, it's not in our processes. There's just no way we can do that. What they don't want to hear. Let's break the rules. Let's loosen this up. I don't care if it's not right. There's more than one way of looking at this. You're narrow-minded. Anything could change at any minute. We don't know. We've got no plan. Just go with the flow. Just jump in feet.

Speaker 1:

First, I'll tell you what I've reorganized things for you. Oh, you've got that wrong and you can't apply logic to this. It's just how I feel. They're not going to like that either. So what they do, yeah, let's scrap. Let's scrap the agenda. Scrap the agenda. I'm just going to improvise. They'll be having a complete apoplectic fit. You'll have to call an ambulance. Okay, what they do want to hear. Let's stick to the guidelines.

Speaker 1:

Can you show me how to organise this? Help me understand where we went wrong here. I want to do what's right by you. Tell me the right way to do this. I want to do what's right by you. Tell me the right way to do this. Can you help us sort out this mess? You're absolutely right. Should we take some emotion out of this? I need your expert advice. Let's consult an authority on this subject. Tell me the right way. I think I said this and I think that's all of them. Yes, I need your expert advice. Yes, good, I value your opinion. Yeah, I value your opinion and data on this. Great that's blue.

Speaker 1:

As we said, if you could use some of this language I speak from experience. This is not my default value set, but if you can use some of this language, you can really help blue feel comfortable and you're much more likely then to start getting a bit more flexibility from them. If you've got a foundation that's solid, organised and rules-based, they'll start to feel like, okay, a little bit of movement here. If the foundation isn't there and rocky, they are going to cling on even tighter. And it's a really important value set in terms of both how we operate and communication. So if we think about a small startup company, it can very much start from red and even purple if it wants to. If you don't, then move into blue and if you don't have processes, structures, filing systems, rules and controls in place, it will just start to get chaotic very, very quickly. So it's hugely, hugely important.

Speaker 1:

Lots of organizations and particular professions or divisions within organisations do push us into needing to communicate from and in blue, so there will probably be lots of blue communication within your organisation. It's quite difficult to organise large institutions and companies without some blue communication in place. If you want to cascade things and make things consistent, you need the blue and some people will find some of that blue quite frustrating. So some of the friction that we see quite often in teams and in organisations can very much be those hotter colours, the red and the orange meeting the blue, and you know, sometimes that can cause conflict. So this is all about both the reds and the oranges and the blues flexing how they communicate from their position to make sure that people are feeling motivated to sort of act on the blue. Yeah, so exactly, don't go into battle. Don't go into battle. You know, stroke, talk, talk to where they're from and build from there.

Speaker 1:

A couple of tips on this Blue in terms of body language Really use nice, precise body language so you can kind of use, you know, gestures with your hands One, two, three. You can sort of chop the air as we're moving forward. You could use that sort of body language. You can count on your fingers One, two, three. You wanna use precise, clear body language, even if what you're talking about is a little bit vague. If your body language has got sharp clarity, that's gonna make them feel better, even if you don't want to send them a long document. If you change your paragraph on your email into three bullet points, better.

Speaker 1:

If you hate using Excel or grids, for example, this is something that we do at 4D. One of us is creating a new program. We'll put in the folder a sort of Word document that speaks more to red. It might be brief or it might be kind of slightly improvised or ideas dumped down, but we also have a grid template because other team members might want to put their notes into a grid. So you can use these very, very practical tools to say, you can outline that information in the way that you need to. I'm going to have it like this We've both got the same information, so there's so many things you can do.

Speaker 1:

Blue likes emails. It probably doesn't like last minute calls or last minute questions. If you've got a question for Blue, put it. Maybe put it into an email and put it more like I've got a few questions for you. It's really going to help me out if we, if you, could go through these one by one and give me some real, really clear answers. Yeah, even though you're asking the same thing as you might ask a red with a, give me two minutes of your time. I want your expert advice. You're doing it in a very different medium, okay, so that's blue timings.

Speaker 1:

Just as you said, phil, they blues do also like timelines. So, as you said, they don't necessarily like last minute calls, but they do also like to know when things are due and when things are needed, or how long they've got to do it, whereas a red probably won't take a huge amount of notice of a deadline or a time frame that they've been given, but to blues it's really important. So if you want to get a blue to do something quickly, pop a little date in there. Yes, pop a deadline in. And also on timing, really good point. Red's probably not going to go completely nuts because you ask them a question at five o'clock on a Friday. Blue will think that's what were they thinking? Well, because they'll have to. Yeah, that's not the time. That's not the time to ask me a question. Yeah, because it's a different set of rules, whereas Red won't mind. Yeah, I've got two minutes, I'm on my way home, it's fine. Yeah, so timing there is important. Okay, we move to orange.

Speaker 1:

Orange is all about success. I'm in it to win. These are the kind of things they'll say let's just go for it, let's try something new. I think we need to be more strategic. Let's think bigger. Let's take the risk In it to win it. Let's go for a win-win. That's the kind of language.

Speaker 1:

What they don't need to hear is you need to stop dreaming. That's not possible. We don't want any more change. This. This is bound to fail. You're just not in their league. You're nowhere near as good as them. They'll hate that. You need to calm down and play safe. Life isn't a game. It is. To Orange You're so manipulative. They don't think about it as manipulation. It's all about negotiation. Why can't you be more consistent? Because they need to adapt to what they're doing in that moment. With those people, there are other people to consider, so they don't want to be guilt-shamed.

Speaker 1:

Orange, they want to drive and win. What they do want to hear you can do this, we can do this. I'm up for anything. Let's do it. Let's get all in and win together. Let's innovate. Let's look at this more strategically. I think we can drive further with this. Let's do something surprising. This is so exciting and fun. I love how unpredictable you are. We just get better and better. I'm so proud of you. You're the best. Let's use this to our advantage. That's the kind of language they want to hear. There's big rewards in this. Yeah, they like a reward. Good time to ask Just after they've received a gift or they've won a deal or they've just had a fantastic idea. So Orange have just given you an idea and you've gone. That's great. They're in a good place. Now you can ask them for something. They need lots of flexibility, freedom. They want possibility, opportunity. They want to see the win. So that's orange In terms of orange.

Speaker 1:

You don't want to be too heavy on data like you do in blue, but you might want it to feel a bit more exciting. So they might like a PowerPoint with kind of images of success. Orange. You see lots of these on corporate slides people climbing mountains, winning awards. You know whitewater rafting. They're the kind of people that get speakers in who have, you know, done the most extraordinary been to the moon, like they love kind of winning teams, sports, anything like that. So anything that's got that kind of imagery or those kind of connotations, stories about winning.

Speaker 1:

They'll love that kind of communication. Don't make it too long, but definitely put information in there that's not just data and bullet points. You know, I heard this story the other day or I met this person the other day. They just had this incredible success. This is how they did it. I want us to do the same. That's the kind of language that they want to hear. They'll probably like you to be talking to them in person. They'll like the energy, the gestures. They'll like the camaraderie. They'll like the kind of feel of that kind of joined collaboration. They'll love it over a really really smart lunch posh restaurant, expensive drinks, high end cocktails that that's when they're going to feel like a winner. Already. I want to take you for a really, really amazing drink rooftop bar cocktails at sunset with an amazing view. That's how you're going to influence orange. Okay.

Speaker 1:

So from orange we move into green. Green is all about the we space, the caring and and the sharing. So green, we want to tone down some of that body language Not so angular, not so direct, not so effusive, not so big, but kind of softer, inclusive, open. Sit back, listen. I really want to hear what you've got to say Green things. They might say whatever you think. Let me hear from you. I really want us hear what you've got to say. Green things. They might say.

Speaker 1:

Whatever you think, let me hear from you. I really want us to share this. Let's do it together. How can I help you? I really don't mind. I really hear you.

Speaker 1:

Let's hear from some other people. What do you think? I really really understand you, I really really hear you and I want to make this better for you and for everyone. What they don't want to hear, I don't care. I'm not interested in what you think. You need to be. You need to stop being so nice to everyone and toughen up. You're naive. People are generally horrid. People are going to take advantage of you. This is a fight to the end. You're a mug. You're far too idealistic. Humans are fundamentally selfish. What they do want to. We're all in this together. You're so understanding. I couldn't have done this without you and everyone involved. We're such an amazing team and extended team. Let's share this with everyone. We're all here together. Let's all agree on this. All of us are right. I want us all to be really honest with each other. Let's help each other. We are going to change people's lives.

Speaker 1:

This is the kind of language really inclusive, really broad. Green would probably like to be in person a bit more on the phone. If it is on email, start it and end it with something personal. I'm really thinking about you and everybody around you. This project is so important for the impact we're going to have on people. I really want to thank you for the incredible work. Your generosity and caretaking and support of other people has really, really touched me. I will send you my heartfelt thanks. Heart, language, emotion, but not just purple. This is about your impact, impact, their impact on the world, the wider population community, lots of we and lots of we, and they and us bring people together, get people in a circle, get them talking. If it's a chat space, the more people, the more voices that we can hear. It's a really inviting, inclusive, generous, thoughtful way of working and you can hear, even in my voice, the tone is changing.

Speaker 1:

I mean one of the flip sides to green, of course. If you're, if you are not in the green value set, in the green value set, the longevity and the sort of breadth and the time that the greens can take to talk and to care about people and to listen and include people can literally make your blood boil. You literally sit there thinking this is pointless, let's just get it done. So green is a really good example also because I have got quite a lot of green in me. I have quite a lot of those cooler colours. It's a really good example of because I have got quite a lot of green in me, I have quite a lot of those cooler colours.

Speaker 1:

It's a really good example of when you're sitting in green and speaking like this, it feels absolutely like the right way that everybody should be speaking to each other, and then you cannot understand why someone either hasn't understood your message or is interrupting you and not really listening to you. It's really frustrating and we really do need to understand and get our heads around the fact that people do not sit in the same value set and it can be really hard for us. It can be really frustrating and we sort of think well, you should be speaking like me and you should understand and like my messaging, like this. But it just doesn't work like that absolutely. So you want to use the colors, like, for example, if blue, if in your meeting there's lots of blue and it's running over, you can absolutely use. I'm gonna stop everyone here. We really need to stick to the agenda. They're gonna be fine with that green, not so Green. You might use the we position if you're running over. Okay, can I just very gently bring our focus back in the spirit of really taking care of everyone and making sure that we can make this project come to life so that we can have this impact on those we care about. I'm going to very gently bring this to a close. I know there's more to hear and I'm going to hear more offline. We'll have some separate conversations. Let's make sure we stay focused on the amazing work we want to do. So you use green to close it still Okay.

Speaker 1:

And for anyone again, sort of thinking I think I'm a good communicator sort of why should I flex and flow my communication? Well, let me give you this kind of analogy, which is, I mean, ultimately, you can choose not to flex and flow your communication. You can choose to communicate from your own value set all of the time and if you want other people to feel motivated and you want to influence them, to get them to do things move in the direction you want, or get that relationship between you to be better, then you are better off intentionally speaking to their value set. So, for example, let's say you want your partner to come to dinner at your in-laws. If you say to a red oh, you know, it's going to be really nice for the whole family to be together and we're going to have loads and loads of time. We're going to have five hours together and kind of sit around a fire pit and really have some great conversations and everyone's going to share what they've been doing recently. The reds brain will be thinking crikey, I haven't got time for that. So an example of how you might motivate the different value sets would be to a red we're having dinner at my in-laws, my parents, on Friday. All they want is for you to come because you make a dinner party fantastic, and they've said they pretty much will cancel it if you don't come because you're so great.

Speaker 1:

Done A red will probably come. The blue you know that every three months, every quarter, we always have a dinner party on a friday at seven o'clock and everybody's going to be there. Everybody's agreed to come this time. It's in everyone's agenda. Blue are going to likely be there. Orange there's going to be some amazing food, like we're going to have some lobster, and there's going to be some little gifts that my mum's got to give out at the end and we're going to really be celebrating, uh, something about how, what you've achieved in your work, and it's going to be really really good fun. We're going to put some music on yeah, orange and we've got a? Um, an invite to a preview at this new cocktail bar in town that no one else has been to yet done. I'm in, I'm in green. I gave before the example of oh, we're going to be together and we're going to share and we're going to spend a lot of time together and it's going to be really caring and maybe somebody in the family needs our support and green is in.

Speaker 1:

So you can see that the end result of all four of those communications is that the person is likely to attend the dinner party and that's your goal and intention. It's just the bridge of communication. To get there is going to have to be different 100%. So what we've done as well is, to a great extent, everything we've said here is about how you would communicate from what we call second tier, from that yellow position Now yellow lights, language around, disruption, completely big picture, thinking, completely new ideas, doing things in a totally different way.

Speaker 1:

What they probably don't love is or can we just really get down into the weeds? And can we get into the detail here. That's not particularly yellow. Yellow really like that. Yeah, the possibility, the breadth. You can hear as I breathe in that idea of scale expansion. Let's shoot for the moon something completely different. We're going to disrupt the market. They love that language, most of you, though.

Speaker 1:

The reason we're not spending that much time on the way that you would communicate with yellow is most of you are going to be communicating to green and the other colours before that From yellow. Yellow really is the ability to traffic light through. Just so that you know, if you hear language around, big picture thinking, blue sky, thinking nothing, ever like nothing like this has ever happened before. We're going to break the system, start again. That's, that's yellow, but you won't hear many people in organizations talking like that from a, except for, except for, a, leadership level. Yeah, if, if you do, if you do hear someone, if you do have somebody that you work with, um, who perhaps is very sort of enjoys big intellectual ideas, enjoys thinking and talking about big concepts and perhaps, as Philip said, quite disruptive and very open to risk and big change.

Speaker 1:

If you do have somebody like that, who perhaps their communication is a little unclear, that can happen, because yellow communicating to yellow will tend to be a little bit kind of jumping around and often confused, and so what yellow needs to do is to pull it down into a sort of a tangible, coherent way of speaking. Yes, at the different colour value sets, but if they don't, then they can lead to it can lead to confusion, yes. So from yellow you need to get more exactly, more clear about which colour you're communicating to. If you do find yourself in communication with somebody in yellow, give them 30 seconds or a minute of wow. That sounds amazing. I love your big picture thinking. That's so imaginative. I've never heard anything like that.

Speaker 1:

This is going to be completely groundbreaking. Give them some of that language, even if you don't know what the hell they're talking about. But you're going to connect with them and then use that to bridge. Okay, great To get there. I'd love to get your take on some of the details or the process we need to put in place, but you can use some of that bigger picture thinking language just to connect initially, even if it's just confusing to you, it will emotionally connect you with them. Okay, that is our spiral language.

Speaker 1:

Think about who you could use this on, who you could talk to try it at home. If you've got a red partner, notice how you can influence and really shift communication and conversations from maybe butting up against each other into influencing. And you, it's not manipulation, it's influencing, isn't it? It's just gentle, you know, helping people on their way. I think it's been quite thoughtful, because it's easier for the other person to digest the message if it's coming from their value set. So it's thoughtful, influencing, absolutely. So enjoy, go, speak colourfully in the world and influence through the spiralsals. And, uh yeah, let us know any successes. Take care.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the 40 human being podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. Do take on board some of the insights, tools and tips, because every time that you try something new to get back to choice, you are making a vote for the you that you want to become and I love that phrase, pen, I do too. And please do share this episode with somebody that you know would really benefit from the lessons and learnings we've been chatting about today. And, of course, if you're interested in more from 40 Human being, do get in touch. We run workshops, trainings, online, in-person conference events and keynotes. We've got the 4D on-demand platform for your whole organisation, and we do have a free Essentials membership where anybody can sign up for absolutely free to access some of our insights, tools and tips. So do get in touch with us if you'd like to hear more. We cannot wait to hear from you and to carry on the conversation.